(no subject)

[lossofface.livejournal.com]

Will SOMEONE please explain to my lead-brained, rust-ridden, overclocked low priority glitch of an excuse for a wingmate that HUMANS NEED TO EAT?!

I am NOT towing you if you go into stasis-lock again, understand? Doing it in zero-g was bad enough, but this is just STUPID.

- Blitzwing

Comments

[strayfag]

Dear Blitzwing's lead-brained, rust-ridden, overclocked low priority glitch of an excuse for a buttbuddy,

Humans need to eat.

- Someone

ahfjsaf LOVE

[lossofface.livejournal.com]

But we don't even HAVE butts

I'm sure you think you're very clever, don't you?

RIGHT BACK AT YOU <3

[strayfag]

Actually, yeah.

[scarletspeedstr.livejournal.com]

I don't know, doing it in zero-g sounds like a lot of fun to me.

[lossofface.livejournal.com]

(a few scribbled out false starts)

That wasn't what I meant, human, and you know it. Don't you have anything better to do with your time than make smart remarks?

[scarletspeedstr.livejournal.com]

Don't knock it until you try it? Besides, from the way you two carry on, are you sure you haven't tried it?

[hailmegatron.livejournal.com]

... WHAT DOES THE HUMAN MEAN?

[hailmegatron.livejournal.com]

SILENCE! I AM NOT A HUMAN! IF I WERE A WEAK-WILLED, SQUISHY, EASILY-CRUSHED DISGUSTING ORGANIC CONSTRUCT THAT DOES NOT KNOW OR FOLLOW THE GLORY OF MEGATRON, THEN I WOULD BE A HUMAN; DEMANDING THAT I ACT AS ONE WHEN I AM NOT IS NOTHING LESS THAN AN INSULT!

[lossofface.livejournal.com]

Do you SEE me demanding you act like a human? NO! I'm TRYING to keep you function so we can get out of here! Not that you're showing the slightest bit of appreciation or even comprehension of my efforts, you STUBBORN GLITCHY CREATION OF A REJECT!

[hailmegatron.livejournal.com]

YOU ARE DEMANDING THAT I CONSUME FUEL AS A HUMAN-- A DISGUSTING PROCESS THAT I REFUSE TO SUBJECT MYSELF TO AND FAIL TO SEE THE NECESSITY OF!

*frilly, anonymous text used before*

[vladville.livejournal.com]

Our New Bodies, Ourselves: Eating

As adjustment is made to adapt to the new human body, nutrients are an important subject that shouldn't be overlooked. Remember that the human body requires a wide variety of nutrients to continue functioning. For those who were once a different kind of living being (living being defined admittedly unfairly here as 'non-robotic') this may require an adjustment in diet. For those who were once robotic or otherwise powered by a means other than energy derived from eating previously living plants or animals, this will be a greater adjustment.

To eat, first decide on your food. The nurses, despite the annoyance they present, may be of some help. Pick out a menu that has a variety of items, rather than focusing on one or two; even if you find you prefer one flavor over another, it may be the case that your body needs the nutrition offered by a less flavorful food. Do not take excessively large amounts of any one item. Many humans make this mistake as well. Instead, a variety of carefully selected foods is best. Vegetables and fruits are especially good, but meats or a meat substitute (ask your nurse, if eating burnt animal flesh seems repulsive) should also not be ignored. Sweets are pleasant but best in small quantities.

Once you have chosen your meal, choose your eating utensils. Knives are simple, dull blades, probably familiar to all of us in some form or another. Spoons are rounded items with handles, and forks are similar but have pointed edges to help catch food, hold it, or stab it. Spoons are most appropriate for items that are particularly liquidy, such as soups, or for items that are primarily based around small pieces. Forks are better for larger chunks of items, or to eat what has been cut by the knife. To use a knife, carefully pin down the item that you want to cut into smaller pieces using the fork, then begin to saw into the food carefully with the knife's blade. Once you have a piece small enough to seem appropriate to fit into your mouth, bearing in mind that it may have changed shape and size with your transformation, use the fork to bring the food bite up to your mouth, and use your teeth to remove the food from the fork. Be careful not to bite too hard on the fork or to let the fork enter your mouth too deeply, you don't want to choke!

Having gotten the food in your mouth, chew. If this is unfamiliar, the process involves using the bony items known as teeth to grind down the food. More liquid items may not require this step. When you feel secure that your food has been torn apart enough by your teeth, swallow, drawing the food back to your throat and allowing an instinctive reaction to take over. If this is all unfamiliar, you may want a partner who is familiar with eating to help assist you in case of choking, should you make a mistake.

Eating is considered a pleasure by many humans, and hopefully those who were previously not human will also learn to enjoy it. Your new body will tragically require food in order to function, so please, eat wisely and try to enjoy yourself!

<3

[lossofface.livejournal.com]

...Thank you, human. This was quite informative.

If it is not too much trouble, could you perhaps provide me with some information on the consequences of not eating? I have a slight, rapidly waning hope that knowing such might help my partner get over his revulsion of the process involved.

[scalyfishman.livejournal.com]

I cAn't bElIEVE I was EVER Worried you guys MiGHT actuallY be A threat.

[lossofface.livejournal.com]

If you're so worried, then what's all this I hear about you helping Lugnut last night?

What are you planning, Maximal?

[bullygeneraleva.livejournal.com]

Actually if you don't eat for long enough you won't need to any more. Most humans are too weak to attain this state willingly, though.

[chocomancer.livejournal.com]

[the above note has been removed]

[neat handwriting]

[stalksperverts.livejournal.com]

You could just leave him until he goes into this stasis-lock and then tell him "I told you so"?

Or force feed him.

[lossofface.livejournal.com]

The problem with that is that I lack the means of bringing him out of stasis lock afterwards. Despite his stupidity, he's a valuable ally, if only because he's very useful to stand behind when things attack us. I'd prefer he'd not go into stasis lock at all.

And I'm seriously considering that plan. The hard part would be finding a time and place to do it where the nurses wouldn't see.

[forgot-it-all.livejournal.com]

Wingmate? He'll figure it out when he starts feeling sick. Shouldn't take more than a day or two before the hunger pangs get to him.

-R.Aoyagi

[lossofface.livejournal.com]

Yes, wingmate. And this is the second day he's refused to eat; shouldn't he be feeling these "hunger pangs" by now?

blocky awkward writing (because he's pretending to be a robot)

[hangenki.livejournal.com]

MaYBe lORD STARscreAm will HELP? He IS WIsE aNd powerFUL.

[lossofface.livejournal.com]

Starscream couldn't find his own aft in the dark with both hands and a map.

Re: blocky awkward writing (because he's pretending to be a robot)

[scalyfishman.livejournal.com]

... ArE You mAkinG FuN OF ME?

[Brand new anon, somewhat neat handwriting]

[toadally4boobs.livejournal.com]

From what I read, logic won't work on this one--I know his type. You can't get someone to do something if they're too terrified to do it.

[arc-wrench.livejournal.com]

Statement: I've attempted to refrain from ingesting food products here before. This detestable meatbag body I am stuck with became increasingly unresponsive. Observation: It quickly became as if I was attempting to function with all gyroscopes improperly aligned.

Cautionary: You will most likely be stuck as a meatbag for quite a while. I would advise attempting to eat, before they force nutrients into you. I've heard it is even more unpleasant than having to masticate and ingest dead organics for fuel.