(no subject)

[lossofface.livejournal.com]

Will SOMEONE please explain to my lead-brained, rust-ridden, overclocked low priority glitch of an excuse for a wingmate that HUMANS NEED TO EAT?!

I am NOT towing you if you go into stasis-lock again, understand? Doing it in zero-g was bad enough, but this is just STUPID.

- Blitzwing

Comments

[scarletspeedstr.livejournal.com]

Don't knock it until you try it? Besides, from the way you two carry on, are you sure you haven't tried it?

[lossofface.livejournal.com]

Don't be disgusting! Our species doesn't even have the right equipment for it, and besides, why am I even discussing this with you in the first place? You humans are obsessed.

[scarletspeedstr.livejournal.com]

Wait, you mean you guys can't? At all? Then... how do you know what I'm talking about? Your buddy sure doesn't.

[lossofface.livejournal.com]

YES, that is precisely what I mean. We're an asexual metallic race, for Allspark's sake; we're built in factories! The only reason we even have GENDERS is because someone at some point in our history thought it'd be a good idea. Thank goodness it's only an aesthetic choice that's being phased out anyway. And

(some scratched out false starts)

It's not like I was LOOKING for it or anything, okay? I was bored and just wanted to watch some music videos, and suddenly I was learning far more about human anatomy than I'd ever WANTED to. Slagging Internet.

[scarletspeedstr.livejournal.com]

...and that's why you need good internet filters, people.

So basically you're a race of robots who can pick what gender they are? ...huh. Well, that doesn't exactly stop emotions, from the way you act anyway, so what makes you think you can't fall in love and want to do... other things?

[lossofface.livejournal.com]

Yes, so I learned.

Can't believe I'm talking about this with a human...Yeah, we feel emotions. We are SENTIENT, after all. But did it ever occur to your sloppy organic mind that our cultural attitudes towards such things might be even the smallest bit different from yours? How do you know we even have this thing you call love?

[strayfag]

It sometimes happens in conjunction with this thing we call a boner.

[scarletspeedstr.livejournal.com]

Hey, I don't think these guys are ready for those kinds of advanced lessons just yet...

[scarletspeedstr.livejournal.com]

Well you must have something close, or else how do you know what I'm talking about? Look, you at least have something similar that you can, uh, compare? to the feeling, right? So... do you feel that way about this other guy?

...and how come your writing keeps changing like that?

(struck parts illegible)

[lossofface.livejournal.com]

I'm psychotic.

Look, I think you're reading WAY too much into all this arguing Luggy Lugnut and I have been doing. We've served together in the Decepticon army for over two and a half million years; of COURSE we're going to have some kind of bond. But frankly, all this talk about my FEELINGS is making me feel sick. Decepticons just aren't like that, understand?

[anonymous]

[deadlyjuliet.livejournal.com]

Psychotic?

...well, at least you're upfront and honest about it.

[lossofface.livejournal.com]

I've had three million years to get used to it, and it's not like it's easy to hide. So why bother?

[anonymous]

[deadlyjuliet.livejournal.com]

So long as you're happy, I suppose.

[scarletspeedstr.livejournal.com]

...wait, I'm arguing with a psycho? I gotta remember to stop doing that

But you just said you had feelings, so you can't blame me for talking about them in that case. And maybe I'm reading too much into your relationship, but maybe also there's more there than you want to admit?

[lossofface.livejournal.com]

I believe the closest term, in English, would be "dissociative."

I have multiple personalities! I used to have a separate face for each one, but humans aren't built that way. It's great that I have different handwriting though, otherwise how would I tell myself apart?

And didn't I just say Decepticons aren't like that? We don't go in for this mushy affection stuff like you humans and the Autobots do. We're not WEAK enough.

[scarletspeedstr.livejournal.com]

Great, multiple personalities. Just my luck.

Dude, emotions aren't a sign of weakness, and neither is caring for someone. I mean, how would you feel if your, uh, 'wingmate' got badly hurt or something?

[scalyfishman.livejournal.com]

[DC couldn't quite hold back here.]

WaiT, You CAn't?

[lossofface.livejournal.com]

What, you CAN?

How is that even possible?

[scalyfishman.livejournal.com]

YEP.

DoN't ask me. MaXimALS evOLved from AutoBOts. I Guess it cAme with the UpgRADE.

I think I Almost feel soRry FOR you.

[lossofface.livejournal.com]

SORRY for me

LISTEN, you pitiful Maximal drone! I am a Decepticon warrior, one of Megatron's elite! I have existed for over six million years, and survived ordeals that would make your tank vent! I have no need or desire for paltry, disgustingly physical displays of affection!

I knew Autobots were weird, but spark...That's just WRONG.

[scalyfishman.livejournal.com]

[the writing becomes suddenly sharper and angrier]

DoN'T you DaRE talk TO ME aboUT 'oRdEALS'! You DoN'T HAVE the FaIntest SlAGGING IDEA What I'VE

[the writing tails off as DC tries to calm himself down. There are several hesitation marks and scribbles]

ScrAP it. NoT Worth MY NanOKliks. All I'M SaYING is YOU don't knOW wHAT you're missing.

[lossofface.livejournal.com]

I doubt anything the pitiful scion of an Autobot could suffer and survive could possibly compare to the feeling of having your mind literally torn apart. But do share, I could use a laugh.

[scalyfishman.livejournal.com]

You smelting

I'll

You

You NeED a LauGh? oH, I'll MAKE yOU LaUGH! TrY WaTCHINg YouR EnTire LiFE Be ToRN tO sHrEDS BeCause OF yoUR OwN InCOmPETenCE WhiLE The GUY JuST LaUGHS and You Can'T DO A sLAGGIng THING. TrY ChASING him To The ENDS of ETERNity AND WatcHING Him DestROY EVERYTHING that MeanS ANything TO YOU aNYMore.

HoW'S THAT for hiLarioUS, You SIck pIECe of SCrAP????

[lossofface.livejournal.com]

You've taken the words right out of my vocal processor, Maximal. It's always refreshing to know I'm not the only one in the universe who had to start over after losing everything. But what are YOU whining for? At least you still have your sanity, pathetic cringing scrap heap.

[hailmegatron.livejournal.com]

BLITZWING.