Hypothetical Evil Meetings

[hamelinschild.livejournal.com]

Okay, to keep from killing the _{[Pen scratch from suppressed laughter]} Love-Love Umbrella notice further, I'm calling a meeting of _{[Cue the same scratch]} --villanous foes here.

That's a roll call for the Captain, Black Lagoon, and the kinky message guy.

Can I get an actual roll call as well? I don't have any idea who our straggler is. Also, uh--whatever you want to discuss I guess--go for it.

Also, if this abomination idea goes through, what do we call ourselves? Are we a league? A team? --what are we dealing with?


----------

_{[Edited after later postings]}
EVIL ROSTER:
Scourge - KMG (kinky message guy) aka kinky massage guy aka Chair of the Board of Bedroom Activities
Abe - The Black Lagoon
Recluse - Captain Beef Captain St. Beef of the Resurrection
Piper - C3 (consul co-conspirator) it's an evil name, okay?

Comments

[tartaros-avatar.livejournal.com]

Absolutely. As eye-piercing as possible.

[hamelinschild.livejournal.com]

Oh god. The 1950's Boyscout template. --easy on the eyes, but a headache in the long run. Truuust me. I used to hang out with those types.

[tartaros-avatar.livejournal.com]

1930's, actually. At least you haven't known one for a full 111 years.

But at the moment, anything I say on him might make this a rather touchy subject.

[hamelinschild.livejournal.com]

I'd ask you to define 'touchy', but that might open up a whole new can or worms, so I'll just let that one go.

[tartaros-avatar.livejournal.com]

Increasing probability of my receiving a right hook to the face from a man in spandex sort of touchy.

[hamelinschild.livejournal.com]

Ouch. He's one of the self-important ones then?

Just assure him from time to time that you're certain the world appreciates your efforts. Sometimes guys like to be complimented.

[tartaros-avatar.livejournal.com]

Something serious happened last night. He doesn't recover from the sort of mood he's in easily.

...I might as well also throw in that I think he's the Queen of England, for how likely that would be taken as truthful.

[hamelinschild.livejournal.com]

Well maybe you ought to give your friend a little more positive attention.

Also--Queen of England?
KNEW ONE OF THEM TOO.
And funfact, he went by the moniker of "Rainbow Raider".

FUNFACT:
STRAIGHTEST MAN ALIVE.

[tartaros-avatar.livejournal.com]

I've been trying.

[Slightly difficult to read, as Recluse is laughing as he writes this]...I just hope he was a hero, with that sort of obliviousness.

[hamelinschild.livejournal.com]

No. He was a villain actually. A poor, deluded colorblind villain.

Who shat rainbows out of the magic goggles his daddy gave him on his death bed.

THEN HE RIDES THEM. The rainbows that is.

[tartaros-avatar.livejournal.com]

I'm extremely thankful I haven't seen one of those in my home dimension. I might spontaneously combust from the sheer embarrassment of such a sight.

[hamelinschild.livejournal.com]

I mostly just felt sorry for the guy. He honestly thought he was the toughest piece on the block. Our boss would never let him play and run jobs with the big boys though.

_{Is it wrong that I read 'home' as 'homo' first?}

[tartaros-avatar.livejournal.com]

I ran a country. I wouldn't exactly be in any position to favor someone of that description.

I think it accurately reflects the general level of maturity we've all displayed thus far.

[hamelinschild.livejournal.com]

No I think it accurately represents the level of sexuality we've pumped into the conversations so far. I haven't flirted and joked around this much since my live-in boyfriend died.

[tartaros-avatar.livejournal.com]

That too. But we were discussing using me, with my new name of "Captain Beef", as a floor for a hypothetical clubhouse. We can't exactly be accused of high discourse on any count.

[hamelinschild.livejournal.com]

_{[A few taps of hesitation]}

Shhhh. If I take these messages down, no one need ever know you were, god forbid, silly.

I still believe you'd be a fabulous groundlevel for a fort.

[tartaros-avatar.livejournal.com]

I am, as a physician might be able to diagnose in these technical terms, bored out of my skull, even in spite of the fact that I quite literally died last night. Obviously, it didn't take.

[hamelinschild.livejournal.com]

I can't speak much for your apparent death, but for the sake of keeping conversation light, shouldn't you be Captain Beef II, then?

Maybe 'Beef: The sequel'?
Or is that too much?

And I do hope you realize I'm just teasing you. Though I don't know you well at all, I've known some LIKE you and I liked them well enough. And true evil or not, I think I'd like to stick around a while and get to know you. Said evil aside, you seem rather agreeable.

[tartaros-avatar.livejournal.com]

St. Beef of the Resurrection?

I do realize that. And this is a welcome change of pace. I have no problem with that idea.

[hamelinschild.livejournal.com]

Evil Saints? How quaint. You're already ushering in a new era here. Stop the presses.

[tartaros-avatar.livejournal.com]

It seemed vaguely appropriate. Maybe if I get the title, I can perform miracles.

[hamelinschild.livejournal.com]

Alright then, Captain St. Beef--as your first order, what miracle shall his holiness perform?

[tartaros-avatar.livejournal.com]

That Captain St. Beef somehow become less embarrassing to call oneself.

And possibly make ice cream rain from the heavens, I never paid attention to what saints were supposed to do.

[hamelinschild.livejournal.com]

An evil (cantonized) overlord with a sweet tooth. Again, my kind of man. Miracle up me some chocolate syrup and we've got a date.

[tartaros-avatar.livejournal.com]

It was the first thing that came to mind.

I'll get right on it, although I'm not sure who a sainted overlord should appeal to for miracles. Possibly themselves.