[yes this is all in caps]

[thisisyourgod]

ALRIGHT YOU RIDICULOUS NOOKSNIFFERS WITH ALL YOUR FUCKING YELLOW FACED SMILES. LISTEN UP. I'M LOOKING FOR SOME IMPORTANT FRIENDS OF MINE AND YOU'RE GOING TO FORK THEM OVER OR I WILL FIND SOME MEANS OF BEING MORE THREATENING THAN THIS PREHISTORIC WRITING UTENSIL WILL ALLOW.

NORMALLY THIS WOULDN'T BE A PROBLEM, BUT IF I'M A SQUISHY PINK HUMAN LIKE THE REST OF YOU THAN THEY PROBABLY ARE TOO AND I CAN HARDLY TELL ONE OF YOU LOAD GAPER DRINKERS APART FROM ANOTHER ONE. YOU HEAR THAT, ASSHOLES? IF YOU'RE OUT THERE YOU BETTER RESPOND TO THIS SO I CAN FIND YOU. THIS ISN'T JUST SOME RANDOM MEMO FOR US TO ARGUE IN LIKE A BUNCH OF FUCKNUTS. YOU KNOW, LIKE JUST ABOUT EVERY OTHER THING I POST FOR EVERYONE TO SEE, APPARENTLY. THIS IS SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS.

OH MY GOD WHY IS SHE EVEN STICKING SMILES ON THE PAPER? WHAT THE SHIT. KNOCK IT O`---

Comments

[repelling]

My regulations aren't the ones to worry about.

No, and I don't care to, but the first part of your note clearly demanded they be "forked over", and while it is as clear that it was directed at the staff, you will find your fellow c patients to be much more helpful in these matters.

That one below is right, too: keep a lid on it or be drugged.

[thisisyourgod]

WHOEVER TOOK THEM SHOULD KNOW WHO THEY ARE TOO. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO YOU ARE, JUST THAT I DON'T LIKE YOU.

[repelling]

I did not write that they did not know who your friends are, just that they are not likely to help.

I'd be hurt, except I've already got a suspicion that that makes me part of a not very selective club.

[thisisyourgod]

MY CLUBS ARE VERY SELECTIVE, BULGEMUNCH. AS IN I PERSONALLY SELECT WHAT INDIVIDUALS I WANT TO HATE. CONGRATULATIONS FOR PASSING THE ENTRANCE EXAM.

[repelling]

Are there membership cards? I might have space in my wallet.

[thisisyourgod]

NO, BUT I WILL ANOINT YOU WITH A VERY SPECIAL *FUCK OFF* SHOULD WE MEET IN PERSON.

[repelling]

A very special ☺ off? Tempting, but no thanks.

[thisisyourgod]

YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I SAID PRIOR TO UNFAIR CENSORSHIP, YOU DOUCHEBAG.

[repelling]

Unfortunately, I've never heard of a phrase that would make sense in this context. I'll have to guess at what you meant.

"Hats off"? If we were given hats, I suppose I'd return the gesture.

"Shoes off"? It's only polite.

"Fifty-percent off"? The membership fees, I expect.

[thisisyourgod]

NONE OF THOSE WORDS WOULD BE CENSORED, YOU ASSHOLE.

[repelling]

Maybe they would be for squishy pink humans.

[thisisyourgod]

I KNOW SOME HUMANS, YOU IGNORAMUS.

[repelling]

Too bad for them.

[thisisyourgod]

I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW SOME OF THEM WOULD BE LOST WITHOUT MY GUIDANCE.

[repelling]

[ y e a h r i g h t

there are no words.

Only- he presses the pen down for a firm ellipsis. ]

. . .

[thisisyourgod]

DID YOU JUST ELLIPSE AT ME?

[repelling]

Of course not. I was struck so speechless by your assertion, my pen slipped three times.

[thisisyourgod]

DON'T THINK I HAVEN'T GOTTEN BETTER AT FIGURING OUT HUMAN SARCASM BY NOW.

HA. HA.

[repelling]

I don't think anything about your competence with human sarcasm.

Congratulations, if you've gotten better. In any case, I think we both have better things to do than keep this going.

[thisisyourgod]

NO SHIT.

[repelling]

[ Leaves it at that, then :| ]