damned_bulletin | (no subject)

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megatron

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[Written in the Decepticon alphabet, it translates to:
EVEN THOUGH THIS FORM OF COMMUNICATION IS PATHETICALLY PRIMITIVE - IS THIS SYMBOL FAMILAR TO ANY 'PATIENTS'?
-M.]

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So it would seem.

Name?

Blitzwing, my lord! Hence the weird handwriting.

It gladdens my spark to see you again, even despite the circumstances.

Apologies, Blitzwing. In comparison, Lugnut tends to have... a distinctive way of phrasing his sentiments, even via a primitive form of communication.

Have you been held here for many orbital cycles?

You don't know the HALF of it, sir. If anything, our inability to contact you over the last five solar cycles has only made him more...enthusiastic. Which has given some of the humans here really WEIRD ideas about our relationship, let me tell you! Or I would, if such prurient and blatantly untrue rumors were of any relevance or interest to speak of.

Ah...the last thing I recall is fighting that accursed Autobot superweapon, Omega Supreme. I believe I may have momentarily lost consciousness at some point...Did we win?

...what in the name of the All-Spark have you and Lugnut being engaging in?

Unfortunately, I was about to inquire of you the same thing. Judging by the growing faction of Decepticons within these walls, I would say not.

Nothing! It's all in that DISGUSTING ORGANIC'S head! She DELIGHTS in harassing us by deliberately misconstruing our missives to each other! I can assure you, Lugnut and I have conducted ourselves at the very HEIGHT of professionalism. Unlike that perversion who calls himself a Decepticon, SCOURGE.

Ah. I was hopeful that was the case, however debatable the 'height of professionalism' may be.

...perversion?

Despite various...setbacks, Lugnut and I have been making every effort to recover our true bodies and return to you, my lord.

And yes, PERVERSION. He's even ADMITTED to having certain relations with one of the humans here. I guess you could say he's gone native!

Good. I would not expect anything less.

...oh, for Spark's sake. [Judging by the splotches, Megatron isn't impressed by this revelation.] This 'Scourge' was so desperate for a quick overload that he went running after a human?

THAT WAS NOT IT AT ALL there were very good reasons for it completely unrelated to that.

Besides. He invited me, I didn't run.

That's not what he told me! The story I was told had YOU going to HIM.

And I still think that ridiculous story about the birds is just that -- a ridiculous story, with no basis in fact. Bad enough you had to be messing around with an organic, did you have to come up with such a stupid excuse for it too?

He told me about the birds, all right? And nobody stepped up to say otherwise, so I figure better safe than sorry. I don't want to wind up like Lugnut with a big chunk out of me.

He had that big invite on the bulletin and he invited me over. For protection from the birds. I did it for the Decepticons!

What are you both, bickering protoforms?

Scourge... how is an overload with a human 'doing it for the Decepticons'? Aside from the literal interpretation, of course. What a noble sacrifice to have made.

Because the giant human-eating birds that attacked Lugnut only go after people who haven't had sex yet. I'm serious.

No, I don't know why, or how, maybe it's a scent thing, but that's how it works.

You mean that's how that human TOLD you it works.

The others confirmed it!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

(no subject)

[Decepticon Coded.] // ANYTHING BUT THE SOUND OF MUSIC - ANYTHING.

OOOOOOOOKLAHOMA~ WHERE THE WING DOES WHISTLING DOWN THE PLAINS~

[Decepticon Coded.] // ...annndd there's something worse. Blitzwing+Corn?

Sounds like the plot of a yaoi anime.

[Decepticon Coded.] // ...I realised that after I had posted it. Poor Blitz. Ow.

Yeah, corn isn't anywhere NEAR shiny enough!

[Decepticon Coded.] // Blitzwing+Sparkle!Corn?

fhajkfdh freaking html

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