[yes this is all in caps]

[thisisyourgod]

ALRIGHT YOU RIDICULOUS NOOKSNIFFERS WITH ALL YOUR FUCKING YELLOW FACED SMILES. LISTEN UP. I'M LOOKING FOR SOME IMPORTANT FRIENDS OF MINE AND YOU'RE GOING TO FORK THEM OVER OR I WILL FIND SOME MEANS OF BEING MORE THREATENING THAN THIS PREHISTORIC WRITING UTENSIL WILL ALLOW.

NORMALLY THIS WOULDN'T BE A PROBLEM, BUT IF I'M A SQUISHY PINK HUMAN LIKE THE REST OF YOU THAN THEY PROBABLY ARE TOO AND I CAN HARDLY TELL ONE OF YOU LOAD GAPER DRINKERS APART FROM ANOTHER ONE. YOU HEAR THAT, ASSHOLES? IF YOU'RE OUT THERE YOU BETTER RESPOND TO THIS SO I CAN FIND YOU. THIS ISN'T JUST SOME RANDOM MEMO FOR US TO ARGUE IN LIKE A BUNCH OF FUCKNUTS. YOU KNOW, LIKE JUST ABOUT EVERY OTHER THING I POST FOR EVERYONE TO SEE, APPARENTLY. THIS IS SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS.

OH MY GOD WHY IS SHE EVEN STICKING SMILES ON THE PAPER? WHAT THE SHIT. KNOCK IT O`---

Comments

[thisisyourgod]

IT HAS TO DO WITH MY RACE CONQUERING GALAXIES.

AND BECAUSE I FUCKING SAY SO.

[sixth_attack]

SO YOU'RE FROM A RACE OF SUPER TROLLS WHO TAKE OVER GALAXIES AND SAY "NOOKSNIFFERS" A LOT, HUH?

SOUNDS COOL. WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

[thisisyourgod]

LET'S GO WITH THAT. SURE.

IT'S KARKAT.

[sixth_attack]

OK, KARKAT OF THE SUPER TROLLS! YOU CAN CALL ME SECHS!

[thisisyourgod]

SERIOUSLY.

THAT'S SERIOUSLY YOUR NAME.

[sixth_attack]

YEAH IT IS.

WHAT? YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT?

[thisisyourgod]

I AM NOT CALLING YOU THAT OUT LOUD IN PERSON.

[sixth_attack]

WHAT? EVERYONE ELSE CALLS ME THAT.

IF THAT'S HOW YOU'RE GONNA BE, THEN HOW 'BOUT I CALL YOU SOMETHING ELSE LIKE [pen taps] "KARROTCAKE"?

[thisisyourgod]

NO, BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE STUPID. THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH MY NAME.

[sixth_attack]

THEN CALL ME SECHS OR ELSE IT'S "SWEET MR. KARROTCAKE" FOR YOU FROM NOW ON.

[thisisyourgod]

FINE, BUT IF WE EVER MEET IN PERSON I'M GOING TO MISPRONOUNCE IT ON PURPOSE.

[sixth_attack]

HAVE IT YOUR WAY THEN, KARROT McKRABBYCAKES!

[thisisyourgod]

OH MY GOD YOU'RE SUCH A WIGGLER.