[yes this is all in caps]

[thisisyourgod]

ALRIGHT YOU RIDICULOUS NOOKSNIFFERS WITH ALL YOUR FUCKING YELLOW FACED SMILES. LISTEN UP. I'M LOOKING FOR SOME IMPORTANT FRIENDS OF MINE AND YOU'RE GOING TO FORK THEM OVER OR I WILL FIND SOME MEANS OF BEING MORE THREATENING THAN THIS PREHISTORIC WRITING UTENSIL WILL ALLOW.

NORMALLY THIS WOULDN'T BE A PROBLEM, BUT IF I'M A SQUISHY PINK HUMAN LIKE THE REST OF YOU THAN THEY PROBABLY ARE TOO AND I CAN HARDLY TELL ONE OF YOU LOAD GAPER DRINKERS APART FROM ANOTHER ONE. YOU HEAR THAT, ASSHOLES? IF YOU'RE OUT THERE YOU BETTER RESPOND TO THIS SO I CAN FIND YOU. THIS ISN'T JUST SOME RANDOM MEMO FOR US TO ARGUE IN LIKE A BUNCH OF FUCKNUTS. YOU KNOW, LIKE JUST ABOUT EVERY OTHER THING I POST FOR EVERYONE TO SEE, APPARENTLY. THIS IS SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS.

OH MY GOD WHY IS SHE EVEN STICKING SMILES ON THE PAPER? WHAT THE SHIT. KNOCK IT O`---

Comments

[lovesthepain]

Why don't we start with your name, then? Being stupid doesn't have to be a permanent state of being.

[thisisyourgod]

YOU'D BE SURPRISED.




IT'S KARKAT. KARKAT VANTAS.

[lovesthepain]

Sage Harpuia.

As I'm sure you've already noticed, everything that goes on this board is monitored. I doubt I can tell you everything here without it being censored, Karkat.

[thisisyourgod]

YEAH, I KIND OF HATE THIS PLACE.

[lovesthepain]

You're hardly alone in that sentiment. It sickens me to see power used to to quash justice instead of uphold it.

If we ever encounter each other in person, I can talk with more detail, but for now, I'll let you know that I was serious about finding someone before nightfall. The days here are tedious and degrading, but the nights are actively dangerous.

[thisisyourgod]

OKAY, OKAY. I'LL TRY TO ATTACH MYSELF TO SOMEONE RELATIVELY LESS DOUCHEY THAN HALF THE PEOPLE ON THIS BOARD.

THIS WILL BE A FEAT IN OF ITSELF.

[lovesthepain]

I hate to narrow your options further, but try to make sure it's nobody sick. Their illness isn't exactly benign.

[thisisyourgod]

OH MY GOD, THIS PLACE SUCKS.

[lovesthepain]

I wouldn't put it so crudely, but... yes. It sucks. Keep your wits about you.

If nothing else, you can seek me out. I'm not easy to miss; I'll be the one with green arrows on his face.

[thisisyourgod]

YOU DON'T REALLY NEED TO PAINT ARROWS ON JUST SO I'LL FIND YOU, YOU KNOW. A DESCRIPTION WORKS TOO.

[lovesthepain]

No, that's... just how my face looks. Those marks were part of my design when I was built.

[thisisyourgod]

BUILT? WHAT, LIKE SOME KIND OF ROBOT?

[lovesthepain]

Precisely. Before I was brought here, I was a type of android called a reploid. Being organic is a new experience to me, let alone being human.

[thisisyourgod]

SO THEY CAN GIVE ROBOTS HUMAN BODIES TOO? HOW DOES THAT EVEN WORK??

[lovesthepain]

Frankly, it shouldn't. It defies logic. A human brain simply should not be able to host a reploid's control chip.

Am I correct in assuming you've been changed as well? Given your word choice in your first note, you sound as if being human is not your natural state either.

[thisisyourgod]

I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO TRY FIGURING THAT OUT RIGHT NOW.

BUT YEAH, I THOUGHT THAT WAS KIND OF OBVIOUS.

[lovesthepain]

What's your native species like, then? Are you something that's biologically similar to a human?

[thisisyourgod]

KIND OF. HUMANS ARE LIKE TROLLS IF YOU BASICALLY REMOVED EVERYTHING REMOTELY COOL.

[lovesthepain]

And what makes you so cool, exactly? That's pretty vague.

[thisisyourgod]

IT'S JUST THAT HUMANS DON'T HAVE THE HORNS OR FANGS A TROLL DOES. AND THEY'RE SQUISHER.

IT'S LIKE SOMEONE SKINNED A TROLL AND SAID "HEY LOOK, IT'S A WHOLE NEW FUCKING SPECIES."