http://coolegoist.livejournal.com/ ([identity profile] coolegoist.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] damned_bulletin2007-05-27 05:39 pm
Entry tags:

*written in carefully disguised handwriting*

I am writing to you all on behalf of an anonymous individual. This individual (who shall henceforth be known as "Mr. X") has recently found that he lacks certain knowledge which could prove vital in the near future. Thus, he wishes to take advantage of everyone's wisdom regarding the romancing of men.

More specifically, Mr. X would like to know more about what he should do if, for whatever reason, he and his gentleman friend end up having to bed each other. I think it's safe to say that both are somewhat inexperienced, so it would be helpful to provide as much detail as possible regarding the physical mechanics—as is acceptable by the bulletin's standards, of course! (Also, it wouldn't do to neglect the emotional aspect either. I assure you that Mr. X is a true romantic at heart.)

Any advice would be greatly appreciated by my acquaintance. Thank you in advance! :)
a_sin_for_him: (Default)

[personal profile] a_sin_for_him 2007-05-28 02:17 am (UTC)(link)
Do you honestly need to seek advice for something so simple? Basic anatomy dictates the physical mechanics rather rigidly, I'd imagine.

You humans put far too much emphasis on sex as some sort of emotional activity.
screwthegods: (Better Than You)

*Shaky handwriting. Cause he's still drugged*

[personal profile] screwthegods 2007-05-28 02:18 am (UTC)(link)
An acquaintance, or yourself? You must be rather shy to ask your questions in such a roundabout way. You'll only make people wonder who you are this way.

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[identity profile] felled-hero.livejournal.com 2007-05-28 02:23 am (UTC)(link)
Uh, you know, those are the sort of questions you want answered from a trusted source. You might get some... well, you might get some answers that aren't exactly reliable doing it this way.

[identity profile] opposingheaven.livejournal.com 2007-05-28 02:33 am (UTC)(link)
Now that's a loaded question. There's plenty of things two guys can do in bed/on a desk/the floor/other together.

I'm sure I can give you some tips if you want to know.

-Kenren.
screwthegods: (Topping you now)

*Same shaky handwriting as above.*

[personal profile] screwthegods 2007-05-28 02:35 am (UTC)(link)
Without a doubt. After all, there were enough rumors about your exploits with a particular Gensui...weren't there, Kenren Taisho.

-Homura

[identity profile] 31st-of-china.livejournal.com 2007-05-28 02:37 am (UTC)(link)
Classy.


Somehow I'm not surprised.

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idolism: (thoughtful)

[personal profile] idolism 2007-05-28 02:56 am (UTC)(link)
I don't even want to know how you factor into that situation.
screwthegods: (Better Than You)

[personal profile] screwthegods 2007-05-28 03:23 am (UTC)(link)
Personally, I think he's trying to get advice for himself without exposing his identity.

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[identity profile] materianinja.livejournal.com 2007-05-28 03:03 am (UTC)(link)
Two men?! Ew!

You could at least try to find a lady before going that far! Geez...

[identity profile] felled-hero.livejournal.com 2007-05-28 03:09 am (UTC)(link)
Some guys prefer men over women. Some guys like both. Some guys don't care about gender and just like people. There's nothing strange or wrong with it, you know.

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[identity profile] k4t4str0ph4l.livejournal.com 2007-05-28 03:05 am (UTC)(link)
Men have exactly two holes into which a cock can be inserted, so the mechanics aren't too complex. Both work fine, but the back door will require some lubricant unless the Lord and his midget like bloodplay.

[identity profile] damned-nurses.livejournal.com 2007-05-28 03:08 am (UTC)(link)
(The above comment has been censored with yellow smily face stickers over the words 'holes', 'cock', 'backdoor', and 'blood play'.)

[Anonymous]

[identity profile] braidless.livejournal.com 2007-05-28 04:22 am (UTC)(link)
I would think being stuck in a mental institute would give you more important things to think about. It seems like it would be more beneficial to worry about those sorts of things once you're, I don't know, not fighting for your life every night? That's just me, though.

[Also Anonymous]

[identity profile] part1of3.livejournal.com 2007-05-28 04:26 am (UTC)(link)
Those who can't fight for themselves are better off staying in their rooms until we can get this problem taken care of.

I.. um, I guess it would only follow that stuff like this would happen.

I guess that doesn't excuse love between fighters...

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[identity profile] offduty.livejournal.com 2007-05-28 04:57 am (UTC)(link)
Image

Is it really that hard, kids?
norainu: (Default)

[personal profile] norainu 2007-05-28 05:20 am (UTC)(link)
I think I just broke something from laughing too hard.

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[identity profile] outtokillhim.livejournal.com 2007-05-28 04:59 am (UTC)(link)
All men absolutely love to have their scrotum bitten. Hard. Mr X should do that for his lover; he will be very pleased.

[Anonymous]

[identity profile] part1of3.livejournal.com 2007-05-28 05:03 am (UTC)(link)
That's a lie!!!!

I mean, not that I've.. ever... ... no. ... AAAHHH OWWWWWWW.

[Elena is laughing so hard that her handwriting is even messier than usual]

[identity profile] beforehertime.livejournal.com 2007-05-28 05:03 am (UTC)(link)
...Kinky.

Re: [Elena is laughing so hard that her handwriting is even messier than usual]

[identity profile] beforehertime.livejournal.com 2007-05-28 05:06 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, and I have a gay friend who has a shirt that says "WHEN IN DOUBT, LUBRICATE." Figured that might be a good mantra to go by...

[identity profile] totallytheseme.livejournal.com 2007-05-28 05:24 am (UTC)(link)
...Wow. Just...wow. Words fail me.

Just don't let him borrow any of Renge's yaoi doujinshi. For the most part, that stuff's pretty anatomically impossible. Though it is good for a laugh or two.

Plus, it might give him ideas.

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((anonymous, but handwriting intact))

[identity profile] damn-legends.livejournal.com 2007-05-28 05:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Mr. X? The info

While I'm fairly sure this thread was made solely to humiliate this 'Mr. X', all I can say is that if he and his partner really love each other they should be able to figure something out.

But be gentle. Go at each other's pace. It should work out fine.

((added as an afterthought, still unsigned))

[identity profile] damn-legends.livejournal.com 2007-05-28 07:59 pm (UTC)(link)
And if it doesn't work out fine, you should probably try not being gentle. Tie the other one down or something.

[penmanship, while normally neat, is shaky due to barely-contained mirth]

[identity profile] janus-006.livejournal.com 2007-05-29 09:01 pm (UTC)(link)
That is, without a doubt, the only best laugh I've had all day.

I was really worried somewhat concerned when I woke up here that this place would suck the life out of everyone in it including me. But considering that people are talking about gay sex on the bulletin board, this place can't be too bad rumors of "monsters" aside.

I could do without the censoring, though.