*written in carefully disguised handwriting*

[coolegoist.livejournal.com]

I am writing to you all on behalf of an anonymous individual. This individual (who shall henceforth be known as "Mr. X") has recently found that he lacks certain knowledge which could prove vital in the near future. Thus, he wishes to take advantage of everyone's wisdom regarding the romancing of men.

More specifically, Mr. X would like to know more about what he should do if, for whatever reason, he and his gentleman friend end up having to bed each other. I think it's safe to say that both are somewhat inexperienced, so it would be helpful to provide as much detail as possible regarding the physical mechanics—as is acceptable by the bulletin's standards, of course! (Also, it wouldn't do to neglect the emotional aspect either. I assure you that Mr. X is a true romantic at heart.)

Any advice would be greatly appreciated by my acquaintance. Thank you in advance! :)

Comments

[31st-of-china.livejournal.com]

......Asshole, you know exactly what I meant.

[screwthegods]

Of course. I would have thought my reply made that rather clear.

[31st-of-china.livejournal.com]

Whatever. I don't have time for this.

[screwthegods]

I think we covered that at lunch as well. And the matter of consent, in case you were going to bring that up next.

[31st-of-china.livejournal.com]

You aren't coming. That's final.

[screwthegods]

Could you stop me, Konzen? Or for that matter, could you stop yourself?

[31st-of-china.livejournal.com]

What the hell are you going on about now?

[screwthegods]

Oh, come now. Even you aren't that naive.

[31st-of-china.livejournal.com]

I'm failing to see how you not tagging along has anything to do with me stoping myself from... doing what?

I'm not even going to pretend you make sense.

[screwthegods]

Perhaps you are the Mr. X in question then. Since you seem to lack such an understanding.

[31st-of-china.livejournal.com]

1) I wouldn't be asking this shit period.

2) I'm not interested in it or anyone.

3) I wouldn't be so pathetic as to have to use alias or another party to do my dirty work, even if I was.



Problem solved.

[screwthegods]

1) I do agree that this wouldn't be your method of choice, unless you got quite desperate...which could be possible in this place, and if your partner was a certain monkey inexperienced as well.

2) You wouldn't admit you were even if everyone knew.

3) There is no reason to assume that Mr. X and our poster aren't in fact one in the same person.


So I'm afraid the problem is quite far from solved, Konzen.

[Strike out is barely legible if you look really really hard.]