damned_bulletin | (no subject)

Decepticon? Good to see reinforcements.

...approximately how many are there? Against better judgement, I can not help but wonder how many Decepticons were so utterly incompetent that they were caught in the first place.

Caught nothing, we woke up here. Everyone did. You did, it can't be that easy to get out of.

And I guess it depends on your definition of Decepticon. There's three I'd count as 'cons. Me (Scourge, the guy with the beard), this kinda nutty guy called Blitzwing, and this also kinda nutty but with extra Megatron fetish guy called Lugnut. Don't know if you know them, I didn't, but they're okay.

There's also a certain screechy jet who keeps insisting he's the loyal one instead of us, but we're mostly trying to find horrible things to do to him right now so I wouldn't count him. If you don't know who he is, you're probably not a Decepticon.

I am well aware of my hypocrisy. My lone, and arguably pathetic defense, is that I was locked in stasis prior to my arrival. You were all caught in recharge?

I can assure you that I am not only a Deception, but well acquainted with both Lugnut and Blitzwing. Much to my... sincerest displeasure, that familiarity also extends to a ‘certain screechy jet’. You are another matter entirely, as I find it highly improbable that there would be a Decepticon that I was not familiar with.

I was. I never asked the others, but that seemed to be the common story.

It's...complicated. Apparently there's two versions of the Decepticons, in two dimensions. Starscream and I are from one, Lugnut, Blitzwing and I'm guessing you are from the other one. I know it sounds like absolutely smelter-fodder, but so does everything else that happens around here so we might as well go with it.

Also, knowing every Decepticon ever by name? You either need to get out more or get out too much.

For Spark's sake. Recharge.

As... unlikely as I find your explanation, it unfortunately does not seem to be outside the realm of probability, judging by the technology of our captors.

...I find it quite useful to know the names of one's subordinates, don't you?

Subordinates?

Apparently.

[There are a few nervous scribbles before the answer can finally be put into words.]

Hail Megatron!

Indeed. Scourge, was it?

Yes, my lord. You have no IDEA how grateful I am that you're here, this place is full of crazy people!

...and you are apparently one of my subordinates from your supposed dimension?

I find myself unable to disagree with you there.

Sorta kinda? In my dimension you were killed by Starscream, and then reformatted into our current leader Galvatron. It's nearly the same thing.

Offlined by Starscream? Here I was to the assumption that I could not get more pathetic than my present organic state.

...Galvatron. I don't suppose there is any point in holding out hope that his reformatting made him relatively competent? I am appalled to share the same designation as an individual who had the ineptitude to be offlined by, of all Cybertronians, Starscream.

More specifically you were severely injured in a heated battle by Optimus Prime, but probably could have survived if repaired. Starscream just chucked you out of the ship and left you for dead. So it wasn't really your fault, my lord.

[There's a lot of scribbling here too. How to define Galvatron without being insulting...]

You became a lot more powerful and aggressive, yes. Perhaps a bit more chaotic, but many of us would say it was a positive change!

Who? One of Ultra Magnus’ Primes? Your Megatron had such a formidable level of inability that he was offlined by one of the barely matured protoforms from the All-Spark forsaken Elite Guard?

[Megatron is apparently quite astonished by this. There are ink-blots littering the paper.]

Your opinion on my... former leadership tactics is greatly appreciated. I will certainly keep it in mind, Scourge.

Barely matured whatnow? Optimus Prime's been the Matrix Bearer for nine million years, since before the Great War proper even started. He practically led the Autobots before there were Autobots. He was was our Megatron's archnemesis before he finally kicked the bucket. You sure you're not thinking of Rodimus Prime?

Wait, what do you mean "one of Ultra Magnus'"? Magnus is a wimp compared to Optimus, we killed him in five minutes. ...he got better, but it still counts!

...it would appear we have quite impressive discrepancies between our realties. Whether or not your words are of truth remains to be seen, but at the very least, I will take them at face value. I can assure you that my processor is not far enough in the scrapheap that I would not be well aware of my own ‘archnemesis’. Unfortunately, I am unable to recall either an 'Optimus' nor a 'Rodimus'.

Not that I have ever been one to tout the sheer idiocy of Ultra Magnus, he is the Magnus. It is highly doubtful a mere Prime could best him in battle, even if the 'bot tends to be an ignorant fool. Ultra Magnus, as tiresome and utterly infuriating that he is, has a habit of hanging on to his life-force by a thread. My condolences for your 'Galvatron'.

...Optimus Prime. Interesting.

Red, blue, and white, facemask, turns into a truck with a trailer that comes out of nowhere, Thing for making long moralizing speeches that nobody cares about? Who leads your Autobots?

If a Prime is "mere", by your standards, I'm not sure I want to visit your dimension.

...I was bested by the squalling firetruck? He must be infinitely more formidable in your dimension, as I can assure you he is little more than an exasperating youngling with a verbal loop of gibbering Autobot ideals and a vaguely sharp axe. ~~Hmm, the moralising speeches appear to be the same.~~

Ultra Magnus, as the Magnus, is the figurehead of the Autobot contingent. Unfortunately.

...you would be surprised at their collective ineptitude. They are nothing more than glorified personal guards to the Magnus, and easily subdued.

I'm starting to get the idea that the command structures are a bit different where you come from. Optimus Prime was...very formidable. ~~Back before I~~ ~~In a previous~~ I've gotten shot at and bashed around by him, he wasn't a wimp. Verbal loop's there, I've only seen the axe a few times.

Optimus Prime was well, basically the leader of the Autobots ordained by the Matrix itself. Great Autobot ever, and that's coming from a Decepticon. The Autobots pretty much worshipped him. Magnus isn't a figurehead, most people don't even like him that much, he's just kinda there.

...putting it mildly. It sounds like our little Autobot has received quite the upgrade, in more ways than one. I don not suppose your Prime is particularly partial to a grappling hook?

'Just kinda there?' Ironic. I guarantee that... 'my' Optimus' little troupe of miscreants are not nearly as obedient to his orders as he would hope.

Not that I've noticed. Optimus just had a slagging big gun, Rodimus has a slightly smaller slagging big gun. Do you want to swap Primes?

Everyone listened to Optimus. Most people listen to Rodimus, but not as much as Optimus, probably because Roddy's the new guy.

Let it never be said that I was not willing for a 'challenge'.

Inter-faction problems? How gratifying.

...a newer replacement? Then what happened to your ever-so omnipotent Optimus Prime?

You killed him. I heard it was very dramatic. Then some punk Autobot got his hands on the Matrix ~~because he was the Chosen~~

Look, if I tell you the particulars I'm going to sound crazy, but long story short they got a new guy, we got Galvatron.

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Totally in English

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In a slightly shaky hand.

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Too excited to be coded.

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Written very fast and messily.

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Define "competant".

[Decepticon Coded.] // ... it wouldn't be Galvatron, sadly. But he is awfully fun at parties!

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Bloody HTML.

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