damned_bulletin | Cake Club Report!

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honey

Cake Club Report!

Oh no!  I'm sorry it took me a while to find somewhere to put a note! If there's any cake club members who see this, please make sure to leave a note! I hope everyone is doing ok and making the most of their trip today! I've had a lot of fun!

Things are a little fuzzy from last night, but I remember the giant robot! Can you believe that? It even transformed, just like in the anime! They're really fun as toys, but I don't think it would be much fun trying to fight one. But I'm ok!  And I think Hika-chan and Takashi are okay too, right?

I'm not sure if we'll get back to our rooms before it gets dark, so maybe we should try to meet somewhere? If everyone can let me know who wants to help with Cake Club tonight, I'll try to hurry and make assignments, ok?  Even if you don't come with us, make sure you don't go alone!

~Honey

[Most of HK and Lockdown's posts have been taken down and replaced with cute pictures of bunnies and flowers.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Agreement: I suspect that is the reason as well. And if you didn't, I would be terribly disappointed.

Would have used everything you unintentionally taught me last night, if I hadn't been too big to use 'em

Observation: I noticed. And you would have likely grabbed me were it not for the last minute alterations I made to my processor and redirected its focus into speed and reaction time.

Well, it's a good thing you did then. Could have crushed your bones into dust if I wanted to.

Agreement: It is quite helpful for all aspects of combat. Observation: And only dry bones do that. The still living ones tend to messily break into shards.

That's disgusting

Agreement: Yes, but only if it happens to you, really. The rest of the time, it's just entertaining, albeit difficult to clean out of your joints at times. Statement: Although without explosive force, the shards mainly just get stuck in the meat part of the meatbag. Very painful. Very messy.

Well, when you put it that way...

Remind me to try that out on someone I hate sometime. Blood is bad enough to wash off, I don't need other messy flesh creature parts on me.

Statement: It takes quite a lot of force to shatter bones in that manner, but with a few hits or appropriate force with a blunt weapon, it is completely possible.

Yes, it is difficult to remove. That used to be part of the fun, because it terrifies meatbags to see a blood-covered droid. Now it just feels funny and I can't turn off my olfactory sensors when it starts to smell bad.

I'll keep that in mind.

You should have seen the looks on other Cybertronians' faces when I would walk up to them covered in vital fluid after tearing into a victim. Gets to them every time.

Agreement: Very fun. Often the most expedient way of dispatching a target was from great range, so it did not happen all that often for me, except for when specific methods were wanted, or I had come into possession of a vibroblade that was just too good not to test on something.

Well, I myself prefer to get up close and personal with my targets. Although sometimes even the Decepticons would request that a target be brought in one piece, which was no fun half the time. The only thing that made up for that was the thrill of the actual tracking and capturing.

Statement: Capture was not one of the core functions programmed into me, especially not intact. Therefore, few try to get me to do anything of the sort, although I am quite confident it is well within my range of abilities.

And generally after a little convincing, my various masters would often decide that they didn't really need the target back with all their limbs or major organs. Or their head.

Well, sometimes it was either bring 'em back in one piece, or else not get paid. And with some of the upgrades Decepticons give, that really wasn't an option for me.

Would have gotten something really nice if one of my last target's hadn't gotten away.

Commiseration: It's so irritating when they do that, especially when you're not allowed to cut off their legs.

Although, I have killed others when they fragged me off bad enough. Sometimes I even took out other bounty hunters if they got in my way.

Statement: Completely reasonable, especially in the event of competition.

Qualification: The only times that I have killed targets meant to be captured was entirely by accident, or not my fault at all. I couldn't help it if a meatbag wanted to try and run straight into low-flying speeder traffic.

It was embarrassing to have to bring back just the lower half of that one.

[There are a few false starts written shakily, as if the writer was laughing too much to properly write something]

Yeah, funny how that can happen sometimes, isn't it?

Agreement: Once I had time to review it in my memory core, it certainly was. I've tried to get it to happen again now, with mixed results and various splatter radii.

Yeah, somehow whenever we try and make things like that happen again on purpose, it never quiet gets the same results.

Affirmative: Yes. None of them severed quite as cleanly as that one did, nor had their torsos bounce so humorously into the passenger seat. The pilot looked incredibly surprised.

[Even more shakey false starts, similar to the ones in the previous post]

Wish I'd been there to see that

Observation: If I had my original chassis available, I could simply access the recorded memory. Unfortunately, that is not possible.

Being a meatbag ruins all my fun.

Tell me about it.

All the more reason to get our real bodies back.

[posts have been taken down and replaced with cute doodles of bunnies and flowers]

This is for Cake Club members and those interested in joining! You guys are mean and bad and I don't think I like you. :(

Please don't post your meanie posts about hurting people here.

Cake Club Report!

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