damned_bulletin | Cake Club Report!

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honey

Cake Club Report!

Oh no!  I'm sorry it took me a while to find somewhere to put a note! If there's any cake club members who see this, please make sure to leave a note! I hope everyone is doing ok and making the most of their trip today! I've had a lot of fun!

Things are a little fuzzy from last night, but I remember the giant robot! Can you believe that? It even transformed, just like in the anime! They're really fun as toys, but I don't think it would be much fun trying to fight one. But I'm ok!  And I think Hika-chan and Takashi are okay too, right?

I'm not sure if we'll get back to our rooms before it gets dark, so maybe we should try to meet somewhere? If everyone can let me know who wants to help with Cake Club tonight, I'll try to hurry and make assignments, ok?  Even if you don't come with us, make sure you don't go alone!

~Honey

[Most of HK and Lockdown's posts have been taken down and replaced with cute pictures of bunnies and flowers.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Well, when you put it that way...

Remind me to try that out on someone I hate sometime. Blood is bad enough to wash off, I don't need other messy flesh creature parts on me.

Statement: It takes quite a lot of force to shatter bones in that manner, but with a few hits or appropriate force with a blunt weapon, it is completely possible.

Yes, it is difficult to remove. That used to be part of the fun, because it terrifies meatbags to see a blood-covered droid. Now it just feels funny and I can't turn off my olfactory sensors when it starts to smell bad.

I'll keep that in mind.

You should have seen the looks on other Cybertronians' faces when I would walk up to them covered in vital fluid after tearing into a victim. Gets to them every time.

Agreement: Very fun. Often the most expedient way of dispatching a target was from great range, so it did not happen all that often for me, except for when specific methods were wanted, or I had come into possession of a vibroblade that was just too good not to test on something.

Well, I myself prefer to get up close and personal with my targets. Although sometimes even the Decepticons would request that a target be brought in one piece, which was no fun half the time. The only thing that made up for that was the thrill of the actual tracking and capturing.

Statement: Capture was not one of the core functions programmed into me, especially not intact. Therefore, few try to get me to do anything of the sort, although I am quite confident it is well within my range of abilities.

And generally after a little convincing, my various masters would often decide that they didn't really need the target back with all their limbs or major organs. Or their head.

Well, sometimes it was either bring 'em back in one piece, or else not get paid. And with some of the upgrades Decepticons give, that really wasn't an option for me.

Would have gotten something really nice if one of my last target's hadn't gotten away.

Commiseration: It's so irritating when they do that, especially when you're not allowed to cut off their legs.

Although, I have killed others when they fragged me off bad enough. Sometimes I even took out other bounty hunters if they got in my way.

Statement: Completely reasonable, especially in the event of competition.

Qualification: The only times that I have killed targets meant to be captured was entirely by accident, or not my fault at all. I couldn't help it if a meatbag wanted to try and run straight into low-flying speeder traffic.

It was embarrassing to have to bring back just the lower half of that one.

[There are a few false starts written shakily, as if the writer was laughing too much to properly write something]

Yeah, funny how that can happen sometimes, isn't it?

Agreement: Once I had time to review it in my memory core, it certainly was. I've tried to get it to happen again now, with mixed results and various splatter radii.

Yeah, somehow whenever we try and make things like that happen again on purpose, it never quiet gets the same results.

Affirmative: Yes. None of them severed quite as cleanly as that one did, nor had their torsos bounce so humorously into the passenger seat. The pilot looked incredibly surprised.

[Even more shakey false starts, similar to the ones in the previous post]

Wish I'd been there to see that

Observation: If I had my original chassis available, I could simply access the recorded memory. Unfortunately, that is not possible.

Being a meatbag ruins all my fun.

Tell me about it.

All the more reason to get our real bodies back.

[posts have been taken down and replaced with cute doodles of bunnies and flowers]

This is for Cake Club members and those interested in joining! You guys are mean and bad and I don't think I like you. :(

Please don't post your meanie posts about hurting people here.

Exclamation: We were having an entertaining conversation, meatbag! Irritation: And you had to go and ruin it for us. Although the compliments are acknowledged.

Angry Face: Hurting people is not nice.

Pout: Meatbag doesn't sound very cute. Maybe Meat-chan, but even that sounds kind of silly.

Agh, I can't talk like that. But you know, it's really not a nice place to begin with. Why would you hurt other people and make it even worse? That's just not okay.

Agreement: No, you can't talk like me. And meatbag isn't meant to be a cute term, and hurting people may not be nice, but it is in my core programming. Would you tell a meatbag not to breathe, just because you thought it wasn't nice?

Accusation: You're not a nice meatbag.

Well... my programming says to protect my friends! And besides, it isn't just like breathing because you said you liked to do it a lot and I don't really think about breathing... it just kind of happens. But I enjoy cake! And if I felt happy like when I get cake when people got hurt, that would be terrible! I would hate it! :(

I don't know if we have the same definition for nice. Maybe your programming got messed up. :( That happens in cartoons a lot. Like if there's an electrical storm or if you fall too hard. But if it's not your fault, maybe someone could try to fix it? Then you could be happy without hurting people! That would be great! :)

Negative: That is not a valid argument. When I am ordered to kill, I do so. I have no choice in the matter. Fortunately, I enjoy carrying out my orders. Query: Would you really rather I be miserable, when I am forced into this situation, meatbag?

Exclamation: I am not malfunctioning! I am a perfectly well-programmed HK-47 assassin droid! I am insulted by the assumption that simply because I enjoy my existence and the killing that inevitably is a part of it, that I am therefore broken. It is enough to make me want to stab a meatbag with the writing utensil I am currently wielding!

I don't know. I'm not good with philosophy and arguing morals and stuff, but I don't think hurting people should make anyone happy. :( Maybe you should try doing nice things, like helping people or making them things. See if that makes you happy too?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Cake Club Report!

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