(no subject)

[bitpartgod.livejournal.com]

[The note is very carefully written in the author’s best handwriting.]

Dear Mr. Person-in-Charge (I’m sorry, I don’t know your name),

I don’t like to be a nuisance, but I think there’s been some kind of mistake. I’m definitely not crazy! Is there any way I could possibly contact my friends? I’m sure they could tell you that.

Yours faithfully,

Kibitoshin, East Kaioshin Kaioshin God Guardian of the Universe

[then, as an afterthought]

(Goku? Are you here?)

Comments

[arc-wrench.livejournal.com]

Negatory: No, no one is here, but some seem happy to acknowledge that they may actually be a few grenades short of a massacre, even if they were kidnapped, then possibly stuffed into a body that isn't their own and told that they have always been a normal, squishy meatbag.

Observation: You don't seem to be doing a very good job, meatbag.

[bitpartgod.livejournal.com]

People have been kidnapped?! That's terrible! Something should be done about that! And you say you've been put into a different body? Like... they changed the colour of your skin?

Hey! I'm working on it!

[arc-wrench.livejournal.com]

Affirmative: Yes, as far as I can determine, we all have been kidnapped. Unless you would like to believe you are a special case.

Negatory: No, meatbag, I mean taken from a droid chassis and placed in a human body. Statement: Hopefully, your universe has droids, so that someone can be doing things more efficiently than the meatbag norm. Expletive: And so I won't have to explain the whole kriffing thing again.

Irritation: Well, work faster.

[bitpartgod.livejournal.com]

Oh, no. I knew I had a bad feeling about this place...

You were a robot? Wow. That must be pretty strange for you! And I thought changing colour was odd.

That's not fair! It's a lot harder than it looks!

[arc-wrench.livejournal.com]

Query: ...You didn't realize you'd been kidnapped?

Statement: 'Pretty strange' is not at all close to how it feels to be an efficiently functioning assassin droid, terminating your targets with utmost precision one moment, and then coming online in a decidedly pathetic meatbag frame the next.

Commentary: Well, I would think observational skills would be a must if you're going to be guarding the universe. Suggestion: The next time you are kidnapped, try to notice a little more quickly. That's a relevant place to start.

[bitpartgod.livejournal.com]

That's I But

H-hold on! You're an assassin!? But... that means you kill people! How am I suppose to take advice from someone who kills people?

[arc-wrench.livejournal.com]

Explanation: Because I am very good at it. And I have been ordered to stand on guard duty before, no matter how boring it is to just stand there and not shoot anything.