Announcement: To the meatbags I shot last night

[arc-wrench.livejournal.com]

Gratitude: Thank you for being so stupid as to ignore my warnings. If you had been more intelligent, I might not have gotten the chance to shoot anyone, or try out the flamethrower mod I was given.

Statement: Watching you get digits shot off and your so easily damaged protective outer layers burned horribly was almost as good as eating chocolate. Suggestion: We should do that again sometime.

--HK-47

Comments

[iwascloned.livejournal.com]

QUIP: WHICH IS PRECISELY WHY I AM GOING TO USE YOUR METAL ASS AS LIVING, SCREAMING SNOWSHOES UNTIL I CRUSH ALL THE STUPID OUT OF YOU.

[arc-wrench.livejournal.com]

Query: Does that mean I shot off a whole foot? Statement: An aft wouldn't work very well for two shoes, especially if the subject is to remain alive.

Addendum: And you mangle my speech prefixes so. Lie: I am deeply hurt.

[iwascloned.livejournal.com]

FUCKYOU: I AM UNCONCERNED WITH WHETHER THE SUBJECT REMAINS ALIVE. IN FACT, I'D GLADLY CUT A WHOLE WHOREHOUSE WORTH OF NEW HOLES INTO YOUR FILTHY MACHINE-HIDE, JUST SO I COULD RENT YOU OUT TO EVERY BUDDING MECHASEXUAL IN THIS FETID ESTABLISHMENT FOR TWO BUCKS A FUCK.

[arc-wrench.livejournal.com]

Statement: I do love contradicting statements like that. They show such maturity, honesty, and well-functioning processors. And you insult my purity as well. Lie: I am also, as you can see, deeply hurt. I think I shall cry.

Exclamation: This is fun! Suggestion: I should shoot off your digits more often.

[iwascloned.livejournal.com]

ASSENT: YES, FILTHY LYING TOASTER, CRY. CRY TEARS of MOLTEN METAL AND SIMULATED LIQUID EMOTION.

OBSERVATION: IT WILL BE THE LAST TIME YOUR TEARS EVER REACH THE OUTSIDE OF YOUR HIDEOUS METALLIC FRAME.

PROMISE: YOU WILL FIND IT DIFFICULT TO GET OFF A SINGLE SHOT AT MY DIGITS ONCE I TURN YOUR ENTIRE BODY INSIDE OUT, CAUSING ANYTHING MORE INTENSE THAN A MUFFLED SOB TO RESULT IN TOTAL SYSTEMIC DISASTER.

[arc-wrench.livejournal.com]

Query: Is it actually possible to turn a meatbag's body inside out? Statement: I've never managed it before, but I would so love to try.

Commentary: If nothing else, the violence of your statements is quite admirable. But not very threatening, knowing that I have already managed to maim you, meatbag.

[iwascloned.livejournal.com]

ASTONISHED EXCLAMATION: MAIMING?!

INCREDULOUS QUERY: YOU CALL THIS MAIMING? I'VE SEEN FLU VIRUSES THAT COULD BOIL RETINAL FLUID AND VAPORIZE BONE IN AN INSTANT.

DECISIVE STATEMENT: THAT'S MAIMING.

CORRECTION: ALL YOU HAVE DONE IS MADE MY FOOT SHARPER AND MORE AERODYNAMIC, SO THAT THE HYDRAS MIGHT MORE EASILY FIND THEIR ACIDIC WAY INTO EVERY WIRY CREVICE OF YOUR SEMEN-STAINED CHASSIS.

[arc-wrench.livejournal.com]

Definition: To maim is to wound seriously; to cause permanent loss of function of a limb or part of the body.

Statement: Toes are a part of the body. You are missing some. In human meatbags, they do not grow back. Therefore, you have been maimed.

Suggestion: Stick to one-word prefixes, meatbag. It is more authentic.

[iwascloned.livejournal.com]

QUOTATION: TO MAIM IS TO WOUND SERIOUSLY.

OBSERVATION: THIS WOUND COULD NOT BE LESS SERIOUS IF IT SHAT FARTING CLOWNS.

COUNTER-SUGGESTION OF RIGHTEOUS FURY BECAUSE I DO NOT GIVE TWO TUGS OF A DEAD DOG'S DICK ABOUT BEING AUTHENTIC TO THE EVOLUTIONARY SECOND-COUSIN OF AN INCESTUOUS CAN-OPENER: GO INVENT A WAY TO FUCK YOURSELF AND THEN DO IT.

[arc-wrench.livejournal.com]

Statement: To remove digits is to wound seriously. But, if that wasn't serious enough for you, I did throw in the extra flamethrower treatment for free. You should be thankful.

Negatory: No.

[iwascloned.livejournal.com]

REMINDER: I HAVE ALREADY EXPRESSED MY DEEP DISAPPOINTMENT WITH THE QUALITY OF YOUR FLAMMABLES.

BELITTLEMENT: YOUR IMPOTENT DRYHUMP OF A FLAMETHROWER BARELY SINGED THE COCKLES OF MY COAT.

POSITORY: YES.

[arc-wrench.livejournal.com]

Correction: You mean your medications.

Query: Is that why you are so irritable? Withdrawal?

Repetition: No.

[iwascloned.livejournal.com]

RAGE-FUELED TIRADE: NOT IRRITABLE EXACTLY. IT IS MERELY TRUE THAT THE LAST CREATURE TO COME BETWEEN ME AND MY DRUGS WAS A BOIL-ENCRUSTED VULTURE WHOSE SPINE I SUMMARILY EXTRACTED AND USED TO FLOSS THE MOST UNSAVORY CREVICES OF MY BODY. HIS EYES I KEPT FUNCTIONAL THROUGH THE USE OF A TWICE-HACKED MAKER, SO THAT HE COULD WATCH THE UTTER MUTILATION OF HIS LIFE-GIVING MEATPARTS. HE CRIED ACIDIC TEARS FROM BLACK-MARKET REPTILIAN TEAR DUCTS AS I BROADCAST FOOTAGE OF HIS GRUESOME TERMINATION ALL ACROSS THE FEEDS SO THAT ALL WOULD REMEMBER NOT. TO FUCK. WITH THE DRUGS. OF SPIDER FUCKING JERUSALEM.

ADDENDUM: I HAVE NOT YET TRIED THIS ON A MACHINE BUT I AM CERTAIN I COULD MANAGE.

POST-SCRIPT: YES.

[arc-wrench.livejournal.com]

Observation: What an unfortunate middle name.

Statement: I would welcome the challenge of a fight.

Repetition: No.

[iwascloned.livejournal.com]

CHALLENGE OF A FIGHT: I WISH TO CONDUCT AN IN-DEPTH INTERVIEW WITH YOU DURING SECOND SHIFT. BE THERE

OBSERVATION: METHINKS THE HIDEOUS ELECTRONIC MANLADY DOTH PROTEST TOO MUCH. I BET YOU ARE ALREADY WORKING ON ADVANCED SELF-FUCKING TRAJECTORIES. JUST SEE IF YOU CAN FINISH UP BEFORE OUR APPOINTMENT.

[arc-wrench.livejournal.com]

Affirmative: I will be.

Negatory: No, I am not. Sarcasm: I do sincerely hope your tremors and nausea from withdrawal won't be too severe to manage the interview.