[yes this is all in caps]

[thisisyourgod]

ALRIGHT YOU RIDICULOUS NOOKSNIFFERS WITH ALL YOUR FUCKING YELLOW FACED SMILES. LISTEN UP. I'M LOOKING FOR SOME IMPORTANT FRIENDS OF MINE AND YOU'RE GOING TO FORK THEM OVER OR I WILL FIND SOME MEANS OF BEING MORE THREATENING THAN THIS PREHISTORIC WRITING UTENSIL WILL ALLOW.

NORMALLY THIS WOULDN'T BE A PROBLEM, BUT IF I'M A SQUISHY PINK HUMAN LIKE THE REST OF YOU THAN THEY PROBABLY ARE TOO AND I CAN HARDLY TELL ONE OF YOU LOAD GAPER DRINKERS APART FROM ANOTHER ONE. YOU HEAR THAT, ASSHOLES? IF YOU'RE OUT THERE YOU BETTER RESPOND TO THIS SO I CAN FIND YOU. THIS ISN'T JUST SOME RANDOM MEMO FOR US TO ARGUE IN LIKE A BUNCH OF FUCKNUTS. YOU KNOW, LIKE JUST ABOUT EVERY OTHER THING I POST FOR EVERYONE TO SEE, APPARENTLY. THIS IS SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS.

OH MY GOD WHY IS SHE EVEN STICKING SMILES ON THE PAPER? WHAT THE SHIT. KNOCK IT O`---

Comments

[impudentsongbird]

Please be careful. The nurses might sedate you if you're too aggressive.

[thisisyourgod]

SEDATE ME HOW?

[impudentsongbird]

With an injection, I imagine. They might not put you to sleep, but you certainly won't feel up to much for a good part of the day.

[thisisyourgod]

OH WELL THAT'S JUST PERFECT.

FUCK THEM, THEY CAN'T SEDATE ME FOR WRITING IN CAPS. I ALWAYS WRITE IN CAPS. IT'S NOT A SIGN OF MY AGGRESSION OR LACK OF.

[impudentsongbird]

They can, and they will, if they feel you've crossed a line. Though I'd be more worried about the swearing and the disrespect, to be honest.

[thisisyourgod]

DISRESPECT? I'VE BEEN *SPECIES SWAPPED*. I DON'T SEE HOW THAT'S LESS DISRESPECTFUL THAN ANYTHING I'VE SAID.

[impudentsongbird]

It isn't. But, unfortunately, they have the power here and right or wrong, they can enforce their rules if they believe you've broken them.

[thisisyourgod]

BUT I HAVE TO KNOW ALL THE RULES BEFORE I KNOW IF I'M BREAKING THEM!

[impudentsongbird]

I wish I could say they cared about that.

[thisisyourgod]

WOW, OKAY. I'LL JUST FIGURE OUT THESE RULES SOME OTHER WAY.

UNLESS YOU'RE ACTUALLY GOING TO BE HELPFUL.

[impudentsongbird]

Of course; I'm sorry. Maybe it would be better if you ask any questions you still have. I'm rather new here myself, but I'll do my best to answer them.

[thisisyourgod]

ARE YOU ACTUALLY GOING TO GIVE ME SERIOUS ANSWERS?

[impudentsongbird]

Yes, of course. They wouldn't be much help to you otherwise.

[thisisyourgod]

YOU'RE BEING FAR TOO NICE. I SENSE A TRAP.

[impudentsongbird]

I wouldn't do that, but I understand why you'd be suspicious, under the circumstances. Still, there's no harm in asking, right?

[thisisyourgod]

THERE CAN BE HARM IN ANYTHING.

[impudentsongbird]

Not anything. Just potentially a lot of things.

I'm Gabe. What's your name?

[thisisyourgod]

HOW HAVE YOU EVEN LIVED THIS LONG?




IT'S KARKAT.

[impudentsongbird]

Pretty happily, actually!

My pleasure to meet you, Karkat ... such as we are. Is there anything you did want to ask about?

[thisisyourgod]

I AM NO LONGER SURE...

[impudentsongbird]

That's fine! Let me know if you change your mind.

[thisisyourgod]

[Why is he always running into weird humans like this?]

RIGHT. SURE.

[impudentsongbird]

Take care.