damned_bulletin | (no subject)

Entry tags:

*day 43,
yuffie

(no subject)

Last night was GIGANTINORMOUS MESS, so it's extra important that you respond to this today, guys! Lemme know you're still breathing, or I'll hunt you down myself.

And I'm sure you'll all be totally relieved to know that I escaped both alive and uneaten.

… That's all I got, yeah.

~ Wutai's White Rose, guardian of truth, light, and awesomesauce.

[ There are some... rather spectacular doodles here, now. ]

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[it is now on fire.]

Even the undead recognized my ass as too beautiful to damage.

[ And on rollerblades ]

Your face is a totally different story, though.

By the way, I got somethin' you might wanna hear.

[going down a jagged mountain]

My face is gorgeous as opposed to beautiful.

Yeah?

[ toward a wall of spikes ]

Only when you're comparing it to chocobo turds.

One of three came back yesterday.

[impaled with stick-figure bodies]

Play nice, Kisaragi. My self-esteem's real sensitive.

-- You wouldn't shit me about that, would you?

[ with the Midgar Zolom curled around it like a horrifying feather boa. Minus feathers ]

One day, Reno, even you will learn how to be a man.

Hell no I wouldn't.

[it now wears a pair of opaque sunglasses]

You gonna be my teacher?

Well, fuck me. Which one? Tell me it's not the brattiest sonofabitch that puts even you to shame.

[ and Cait Sith's retarded little crown ]

With me to be your guide, you might not be such a lost cause after all.

Ding ding ding, we have a winner! Except I am definitely not a brat, since I'm, like, a mature young woman.

[holding a single materia]

Your generosity deserves a gold star.

Aw, hell. You ran into him, I take it? And you'll only ever be a mature young woman when I became a real man.

[ dragging a treasure chest by a rope ]

Only if I can use it to shank stuff with.

Yeah, you could say that. Jerk tried to kill me! I'm a mature young woman now, and you're just jealous.

[with a chocobo on top of the treasure chest. it's carrying a rectangular stick on its back that looks suspiciously like Cloud's sword]

Just don't shank me and we're good.

What, were you expecting a goddamn hug from the guy? You're right. I'm jealous of your ability to hold mature food fights.

[ suspicion confirmed; Cloud is now chasing after it ]

I wouldn't need a gold star to shank you, so no worries.

All I did was call Jenova a slimy alien tentacle monster. No, you're jealous of my ability to win mature food fights.

[there's a girl clinging to the Zolom. Her boobs are bigger than her face. Three guesses who it is and the first two don't count. :| ]

I said don't shank me, period, not don't shank me with a gold star. [the previous note's "don't shank me" has been heavily underlined, with an arrow drawn to it]

Man, that's all you could come up with? You're slipping, ninja girl. Oh, please. Bring it.

[ the 'girl' now has Reno's hair, and is wearing a Turk suit ]

You're no fun!

Hey, I wasn't even trying to insult him. I was just talking. Overconfident as ever, I see... You want it, you got it!

[and wearing a headband and holding a shuriken]

I'm loads of fun. I just gotta be alive to make that happen.

You and the Sephiroth-wannabe, just talking? Fine. It's a duel. We'll get Rude to play judge, think he's got a vendetta against us both in one way or another.

[ which has a waffle impaled on one of the blades ]

Fun like a drunken brawl at a shady downtown bar?

Yeah, well, it didn't exactly turn out that way in the end. Think he'll dissolve again if we leave him out in the rain? No way, Rude'll cheat and try to steal our thunder. We need somebody impartial.

[the waffle is bleeding]

You say that like it's a bad thing.

Hell if I know. You ask me, might as well skip that step and just dissolve him ourselves. Christ, you're picky. Nobody's truly impartial, anyway. They'll all fall for my charm the second they see me.

[ There's a sad little rain cloud hanging above it ]

Pfft. It's not like I haven't started more than my fair share of 'em.

I'd be up for that, but it's your turn to try. I'm not picky, I'm just the voice of reason. And it's more like they'll be scared away by your lameass sense of humor.

[little dots, like the waffle/Zolom is dissolving]

Amazing. Something we agree on at last.

What happened to strength in numbers or some shit? Don't lie, I know you're laughing on the inside.

[ and it has a rainbow going over it, with Rude riding on top ]

Holy crap, you're right. Is the world exploding?

I'll be there as moral support, and to save your sorry ass when things turn sour. Please not that I am laughing at you, not with you. Har har har etc.

[there's a unicorn in front. The rainbow is now shooting out of its ass.]

You realize the world's exploded at least once already.

Moral support involves a long ritual that requires no clothing. That was just predictable, Kisaragi. I'm worth more effort than that.

[ The unicorn has the ShinRa logo printed on its side ]

More permanently this time. It's gonna fall down a black hole, too.

When it comes to guys like you, that'd also require being desperate. Which I am not. So there. And I only gave you what you were asking for, since I've got better things to have fun with.

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