damned_bulletin | (no subject)

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badou

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Hey Arty, you up for ice-cream? I was going to introduce you to Alle anyway. ~~Please save me I'm too pretty to die~~

My theory that squirrels are demon tree rats? You should probably know I was piss drunk at the time. It might have been Haine.

...this might explain why it got up after you 'shot' it.

Nah, it was definitely a zombie squirrel.

Did it want your brain tissue as well?

I'll make sure to ask it next time.

Good, because I'm intrigued. Had you been smoking as well, or just drinking?

Do you have a business card you want me to give it? Some flowers maybe?

And what kind of question is that? Of course I was - Oh. Shit. I might have run out. The whole night's kinda fuzzy.

You could beat it with the flowers, and somehow I think that a business card would be lost on a zombie-demon tree-rat.

I pity that squirrel then, if you ran out.

...If a bullet didn't work, what makes you think petunias will?

Little fucker probably had it coming.

[You just know the squirrel kicked his ass. :| Also, I like how they went from angst to zombie tree rats.]

Edited 2009-07-10 02:25 (UTC)

Maybe it's allergic. Or it put on bullet-repellent that morning. Flowers may smother it--like Desdemona.

I love your certainty in the matter.

["Aww, you're a cute little ra--OHFUCKINGHELLBLEEDINGCHRISTONACRUTCHTAPDANCINGAAAAAGH!!" Inorite? :| Srs bsns all around.]

Now you're just making fun of me. There's no flower named Desdemona.

[HAHAHAHA YEAH THAT'S HOW IT WENT. Tree rat: 52 Badou: -5 (this being the number of times he probably shot himself) They're always srs bsns. This is how they work out complex problems - by not talking about them. :|]

It's not a flower. In Othello, a play by William Shakespeare, Othello is persuaded to kill his virgin wife by smothering her with a pillow, simply through the power of jealousy and persuasion by another man, Iago.

[THEY'RE SUCH A HEALTHY DUO. 8D;;]

So if he did her it would have been a happy ending and he would have gotten some fresh virgin tail. Othello is a dumbass.

Wait, does this mean my squirrel is named Desdemona now?

We can name it Desdemona, but I doubt that it's a symbol for God/The Divine as she is in the play. And Othello isn't just a dumbass--he represents man in the struggle between the influences of good and evil. He's possibly the ultimate dumbass in that sense, I suppose.

I think we should name your squirrel Iago, if it's a demon rat.

You're getting off on literature right now aren't you?

I've been calling it Skippy Nutfucker but it might like that better.

I am not. I'm simply displaying my literary knowledge in a public manner, which I haven't been able to do in days. It was rather refreshing, actually.

...and that's an image that I'd rather not have in my head, thank you.

It's ok Arty. I won't give you a wedgie.

What is? Getting off on literature or Skippy being renamed Iago?

I would hope not. Haku might actually break your hands or somesuch thing before I could stop him. Being winded tends to put a damper on being able to call off automatic attacks...

Skippy and his... namesake.

Sounds like you'll just have to nurse me back to health. I'll ask the nurses here if you can borrow one of their skirts and a little hat.

I'll try to find you some Playgirl magazines. That part of your imagination kind of painful just to hear about.

I will do no such thing. You couldn't pay me enough to wear a skirt.

And if my nurse finds that under my mattress, I'll be dead next evening.

Who says I'm paying you? I'll just look at you with a big soulful eye.

Hide it somewhere else then.

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