damned_bulletin | (no subject)

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blitzwing

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Scourge,

Rest assured, there will be consequences for your insubordination. However, depending on your actions in the immediate future, I MIGHT be prepared to be lenient.

- Blitzwing

((written in a different part of the board))

Is there a human here named "Kon?"

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Don't be digusting. It's my understanding that you fed him some preposterous story about certain...interactions conferring immunity from some of the monsters here. Care to comment?

And before ANYONE reading this decides to jump in with more stupid comments, there is NOTHING unprofessional going on between me and Scourge! So don't even start!

You mean the virgin-eating birds? Hate to break it to you but it's true man. We had sex to make sure he'd be safe. What else is there to say?

You really need to learn to relax. I think you're protesting way too much. It's not disgusting at all, it's a lot of fun. Just ask Scourge. You should try it sometime man.

Just when I'm about to think you organics can't get any more VILE...

Yes, that is the story he said you told him, and I don't believe it any more coming from you than I did from him. Even if an organic carnivore had the higher mental capacity to specifically target virgins, how could it possibly tell the difference? But what I'm really interested in knowing is why you targeted one of my subordinates for your depredations.

I don't know how it works, but ask anyone! They'll confirm it.

I didn't target him- he asked me about it! I just offered to help him out, like you do with friends. We both had fun, no one was hurt, what's your problem?

My "problem" as you put it, is that you detained one of MY subordinates from following the orders I gave him. But, if he truly did approach you, perhaps I have been slightly amiss in my placement of the blame.

I will be willing to overlook this incident if you refrain from contacting him again.

Dude, you don't own him and I'm not going to stop talking to one of my friends just 'cause you said so.

Actually, I do.

Anyway, I'd hardly call one sexual encounter a friendship. Why do you care so much about keeping in contact with him anyway? Don't you have other humans to...inoculate?

You can't own people. No matter what anyone says.

And, yeah, he is a friend. We talked and he's pretty cool and we were both interested in hooking up again. That makes him a friend in my book. Just 'cause I have other friends doesn't mean I ignore the rest.

You really have no idea what you're talking about, do you? Were you dropped on your head as a protoform or something?

Look, human. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain the intricacies of Decepticon culture to you. All YOU need to know is that YES, I can and do own Scourge, by virtue of the fact that he's both a weakling and a coward. Demonstrate some intelligence for once and let the issue lie.

NO but I know what it's like to be viewed as property and I'm not gonna stand for that sort of thing. I don't care what you say about 'Decepticon culture' or whatever. Treating people like that is wrong and I'm not dropping it just 'cause you said to. Trust me man, you do not want to be on my bad side. So why don't you back off?

Are you seriously threatening me?

Oh my spark, you ARE, aren't you? Do you seriously expect me to be SCARED of you, human? Don't make me laugh that hard anymore, okay? It makes my sides hurt.

I'm not just a human, I'm Superboy. More powerful than a locomotive, faster than a speeding bullet, you know the spiel. And I could kick your ass with one hand tied behind my back.

Actually, I don't know the "spiel," as you put it. But if that's an example, I doubt I'm missing much.

It seems you come from a universe where the terror and glory of the Decepticon empire is not yet known to your lowly race, so know that I am Blitzwing, master of fire and ice! When I was built, your miserable planet had not yet accreted out of the dust of space, and when I was destroyed and through my own efforts reforged, your disgusting organic species had not even learned to walk upright! I am madman and conqueror, and I alone have the will to rule in Megatron's absence! I also know four different recipes for pina coladas, but they don't make olives big enough for me. :(

If you have anything approaching sense at all, you will tremble in fear and leave me and mine be.

Blah blah blah. Wake me when you're done. You obviously haven't heard of Superman. I don't care what sort of big, dangerous robot thing you are, the big guy could blow you to pieces just by sneezing. And I can do just about anything he can. I don't scare easy. You're gonna have to do better than that.

Though, seriously man, pina coladas? That's not much to brag about.

Super...man? What kind of ridiculous name is that? I hope he is more intimidating than you, whatever he is; if you were any more boring, I might fall into recharge.

And I got bored with mixed drinks once I figured out the problem with the olives.

Wait, so the crazy guy named Blitzwing thinks Superman is a stupid name? Uh huh.

Whatever, you don't scare me, I don't scare you, so why don't you stop trying to tell me what to do and we won't have to find a free night so I can kick your ass?

But aren't you a robot normally? What does drinking even do for you?

There is NOTHING wrong with my name!

I think it's by smell. Sex has...a very distinctive smell.

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