Good day, fellow patients.
I would like to post an announcement that I will be looking for some female company some time in the near future. It is somewhat humiliating to ask for something like this on a bulletin board in such a fine establishment, but I've never been good with girls, you see. I tend to act pompous and scare them away by being nothing short of a giant boob. In reality I'm an aimiable man who simply wishes to meet some ladies who understand and appreciate shy, intelligent, awkward gentlemen. I tend to have a thing for mechanics but botch my chances of spending a night alone with them by making a complete ass of myself.
Anyway, if you see me at some point, please do engage me in conversation. I've got dark hair and a very large jaw. You'll know me by the prissy air I give off and the company of my brilliant, younger sister. I would appreciate some practice and company. I don't deal with women often and know that the best way to become more familiar with them is to experience them. Thank you for your time.
~Dr. Simon Tam