[strikeouts thoroughly scratched]

[threepwood]

Ahoy there!

As someone who is new to this establishment, I was advised to join the S&R Club because I'm good with a sword I know lots of great insults I'm looking for people with whom I can swap stories of dangerous fights and other fun pirate hobbies.

So here is my notice to let you leader-types know I'm interested in joining your club, and if you could let me know what sort of quest or requirements there are for initiation, I'd be grateful.

Signed,

Guybrush Threepwood, Mighty Pirate

Comments

[Block handwriting, disguised and childish]

[ryuuzaki]

Pirate?

Please detail your prior activities.

[big writing, because filling that entire scrap of paper is necessary]

[threepwood]

Certainly!

As far as pirate activities, I enjoy plundering, insulting my enemies, finding and following treasure maps, putting together Voodoo spells with ingredients of questionable quality, and long walks on the beach. More notably, I defeated a ghost pirate, then redefeated him when he came back as a zombie pirate, then reredefeated him as some sort of a Voodoo-demon pirate, then again a couple more times just for good measure.

Also, I found the legendary treasure of Big Whoop. Kind of. It wasn't as impressive as it sounds.

[same disguised handwriting, new sheet of paper tacked on to the last one]

[ryuuzaki]

Plundering sounds exciting. Can you tell me more about that?

[threepwood]

It's something pirates do. You know, finding something you want and taking it without permission.

I usually distract people, then take whatever it is when they're looking behind them for a three-headed monkey. It's easier than trying to fight for stuff, and you break a lot less nails.

[ryuuzaki]

What sort of things have you taken?

[threepwood]

Lots of things! I'm a pirate, after all. The list includes idols, sacred artifacts, jewelry, money, monocles, monoculars, keys, maps, dogs, flowers, banana pickers, Voodoo roots, Porcelain Power Pirate action figures, unbreakable bottle breakers, and a pegleg or two I might have sawed right off a sleeping pirate. That takes some skill!

[ryuuzaki]

Very clever. I suppose it kept him from coming after you to get his leg back.

[threepwood]

That, and it got the woodsmith out of his house so I could plunder some of his tools.

[strikeouts illegible; attempted to disguise handwriting, but not too skillfully]

[vstheworld]

[This spot filled with incoherent scribbles and half-formed words that are furiously scratched out.]

Aaaaagh! Must! Resist! Urge! To poke! Fourth! Wall!

You fight like a dairy farmer.

Okay, just a little one.

[threepwood]

How appropriate! You fight like a cow! Or write like one, anyway.

[vstheworld]

[Further incoherent scribbles, more fervent than in the last note. These take longer to resolve into a coherent message.]

Dude. Man. Sweet. Holy. This place is going to give me a heart attack. Maybe that's Landel's clever plan.

[threepwood]

You should attack this place's heart first- try it, if you think you can!

[vstheworld]

Oh believe me, I'm going to try. And I think we're going to be helped a lot now that we have a MIGHTY PIRATE on our side.

[threepwood]

Well, if I'm half as mighty as I think I am, I'd say the bad guy's rear is fried
And if you fail miserably, at least you can say, "I tried!"

[a couple of ink blots where he pondered how out-of-practice he was]

Anyone who believes otherwise will be gutted from the side!

[vstheworld]

That's the spirit we need! Set sail! For some major butt-kicking!

[unmocked-lawr.livejournal.com]

I'm in S&R; if no other members contact you before dinner, you're welcome to come with me. There are no quests required for initiation--only a quick mind and perhaps some stories of dangerous fights.

I don't suppose a pirate like you would have any experience with coming to the aid of damsels in distress.

-Javert

[threepwood]

That'd be great! I'm usually just left to my own devices in situations like this, but working with people is a nice change, so long as you aren't partnered with your nemesis or anything. You let me know when and where, and I'll be there. I'm pretty good at finding my way around places, with or without a map.

And as a matter of fact, I do have rescue experience! I rescue my wife from evil pirates who are infatuated with her all the time, in fact. She handles herself well, but I'm sometimes a vital part of the mission.

[unmocked-lawr.livejournal.com]

I'm in M14. I take it you've been filled in as far as the nightmares here are concerned?

I'm sure that will come in helpful. You can tell me the full tale later today.

-Javert

[threepwood]

This kid who said he could move stuff with his mind warned me that nights were pretty rough around here. Never fear! I'm sure my collective experience from years of piracy will help me in any situation.

Wait, we have assigned rooms? I don't think I got one. Was there a sign-up sheet for them somewhere?

[unmocked-lawr.livejournal.com]

Let's hope so. The male block should be safe enough to navigate, and I'm sure we can find a toy or two for you to use in your future travels.

All patients here have an assigned room and a roommate. You'll return to it for dinner. Make note of the number outside your door.

[threepwood]

[Aaaaand he's taken this entire series of notes with him for reference.]