HEAD DOCTOR'S SUGGESTION BOX - DAY 29

[the-head-doctor.livejournal.com]

A small box has been placed upon an equally small table just below the bulletin board. Above it hangs a sign:

SUGGESTION BOX
ALL RESPONSES TO BE READ PERSONALLY
BY DR. MARTIN LANDEL, HEAD DOCTOR
"For beauty of the mind as well as the soul."
Personal responses are a possibility but not guaranteed.
Inappropriate comments and/or language will be dealt with appropriately.

A pad of paper and a pen are next to the box on the table. The box itself has a small slit on top through which to drop notes, but its side is padlocked and it seems to be bolted to the table. Looks like any comments left here will be unreadable to anyone but the doctor himself.

Comments

*neat handwriting save for the frantically scratched out portion at the end*

[theycutitout.livejournal.com]

The elephants are keeping the children awake at night with all the purple. If something isn't done, I'll be forced to send in the mice.

SIX HUNDRED THREESCORE SIX

[whiteychan.livejournal.com]

Sugared Nattou.

scribbles only readable if you try.

[bored-narrator.livejournal.com]

Stop kidnapping people.

Change me back.

((didn't bother to sign it but didn't bother to hide his handwriting either)

[31st-of-china.livejournal.com]

Bastard, I'll fucking kill you.

[misterprince.livejournal.com]

I think others should be allowed to volunteer in the kitchen once in a while. I mean myself specifically, but just in case there are more like me...

Sa

Nathan Prince

[idolism]

I'll give you a personal response, you -

_{[the large, rambling block of text following this has been completely blotted out]}

[writing anonymous]

[haiiro-no-chou.livejournal.com]

May we request specific doctors for our weekly appointments?

[written in a very neat, but nondescript, hand]

[high-prosecutor.livejournal.com]

I have several suggestions for you, Doctor Landel.

- Allow patients a greater amount of communication with the outside world, in the form of letters or telephone calls.
- I'm sure you've already seen this, but several patients would like tea with their meals.
- Grant patients access to their medical records. It certainly couldn't do any harm, now could it?

[nadine-he-loves.livejournal.com]

Nicer uniforms.

[angels-inflight.livejournal.com]

You only ever grant food requests anyway, so...

Sea-salt ice cream.

[inb4crazy.livejournal.com]

A phone call would definetely be nice! Prisoners get one a day, right? Are we lower than prisoners now or what?

[gald_digger]

Doctor Landel? I've heard a bit about you, and I reeeally wanted to know...

Are you single? ♥

[jagged scrawl]

[tartaros-avatar.livejournal.com]

A critique of this week's performance:

Your nightly rants are poor quality and distinctly irritating to listen to. Tone is inconsistent and uninspiring, often bordering on frenetic. Your occasional maniacal laughs are badly timed. Content is predictable in the extreme, hitting upon many clichés that lost all effectiveness decades ago.

Overall, I would grade your monologues as a . Fairly effective against the easily intimidated or those lacking experience in this field, but not at all extraordinary to the more discerning listener. You need more practice and preparation if the monologues are ever going to help construct an image of an omnipotent mastermind figure.

--Lord Recluse, dictator and now bored resident of an uninspired facility that has yet to impress.

[jei.livejournal.com]

More books in the library. Stuff by Dostoyevsky, Orwell, Anthony Burgess, Camus, Sartre, Voltaire, Mishima, Aeschylus, Sophocles, Euripides, Charles Darwin, Machiavelli, Sun Tzu, Nietzsche, Thomas Mann, James Joyce, Kafka, Solzhenitsyn, Schrödinger, Borges, William Golding, Oe Kenzaburo, etc.

And come on, this library definitely needs a copy of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. You like irony, right?

[son-ofkrypton.livejournal.com]

I think you guys made a mistake, whatever this place is. There's a lot of people who should be going home.

[blacksustenance.livejournal.com]

The whole round-up-the-freak theme? Normally I'd be all for it - less freaks in the world, the better for us. But we know we don't belong here and if you're going to make the mistake of imprisoning us, you might want to start feeding us better. Real food.

[qui-gonjinn.livejournal.com]

I'd like to know more about this place. I'm interested in your position and you personally. Would it be possible to set up a meeting?

[fuyunohanabi.livejournal.com]

Green tea, yaki soba, takoyaki and more attractive underwear.

And sake.

[i-promised.livejournal.com]

Beer.

[reanalyze.livejournal.com]

Would it perhaps be possible to give our rooms a more homey feeling? The white walls and sparse furniture is somewhat depressing. And a selection of tea would be very welcome.

I must say, Doctor Landel, I am impressed with your establishment. Though it does seem to lack some efficiency. A pity.

[valyns-shadow.livejournal.com]

I'd like you to answer a few questions. I haven't been here that long and everything I've learned seems to be gathered piecemeal. No one has any real answers and I'm ... curious.

It's not quite a suggestion, more like a request. I suppose if you're going to squabble over terms the only things you'll grant are pure suggestions.

So, I'd like to suggest that you grant my request to answer a few questions I have.

Or at least better lighting at night. It gets rather dark in this place. The least you could do is leave a dim light on.

[full-score.livejournal.com]

Maybe a wider selection of books would be nice. More free periods wouldn't be a bad idea, either. Also, I'm very partial towards steak -- beef is good for the body!

Hmm, what else? Oh yeah, and stop putting more people in here. There're laws against what you're doing, you know!! D:

[rubbermancan.livejournal.com]

(http://s11.photobucket.com/albums/a159/Luffykins/scraps/landels/?action=view&current=grrr.gif)
you can let everyone out now

[part1of3.livejournal.com]

Ah? Okay, I suppose I'll leave a comment..

I'd like for patients to be able to be given a chance to work in the kitchen. I've wanted this for a while now, and I do like to cook, after all. Like a 'cooking seminar' or some such thing. It would be very therapeutic to myself as well as some of the friends I've made.

As for a culinary request.. how about steak or chicken skewers? I do appreciate the rate that we're allowed to eat hamburgers, so good job on that.

Finally, I would not entirely mind if you showed your face again. It's been a week now, after all.

Thank you for this. The suggestion box, anyway.

-Paul Pritchett

[rappigs.livejournal.com]

This getup makes baby rappigs cry.

[ontheabyss.livejournal.com]

Here's a suggestion:

Give me back my powers, you twisted fuck!

[navigating.livejournal.com]

If you're going to give us cryptic clues about what there is below the building, and try to taunt us into going there, stop putting monsters and brainwashed patients in the kitchen. We'll never get there if there are always monsters. Then you wouldn't be "entertained" at all, now would you?

[part1of3.livejournal.com]

Oh, oh, and please anaesthetize future surgery patients. It hurts very much going without.

-Paul Pritchett

[repolarization.livejournal.com]

Thank you for all the yummy yummy food

but can I go back to my friends now? I miss them. :( Please?

[norainu]

Eat shit and die.

[floraltempest.livejournal.com]

You probably already know this, but what you're doing is not right! We're not... We aren't playthings here for your enjoyment, Dr. Landel. You need to let us go back home.

[nearly illegible scrawling]

[vintagebrit]

FUCK YOU LANDEL.

Um... also, I would like to request waffles.

[forgot-it-all.livejournal.com]

Philosophy books. And more books in general. If I keep going at this rate, I'll have finished your library in another week or two.

Also, rice and...

I'd like to know more about the person I'm supposed to be. Is there anyway to do that?

-Aoyagi Ritsuka

[1imited-edition.livejournal.com]

Fencing equipment for the recreational area.

Also I'd like to know what you're doing with the rest of me. The Book, I mean. You're obviously very good at keeping people with special talents confined but everyone who's tried something like this with the Book has been absorbed by me eventually, so please be careful with it. I would rather the other patients not face the consequences of carelessness towards me.

[braidless.livejournal.com]

I find your physical fitness program to be somewhat lacking. It's true we have a recreational field and some sports equipment in the shed, but I'm afraid I'm one of those pesky people who thinks tossing around a ball once a week isn't exactly all that beneficial for one's health.

Of course, it's quite possible you'd rather us lose our strength. But, then, for a health facility, it is quite odd that we're forced into such a sedentary lifestyle, don't you think?

[Handwriting is absolutely perfect, regardless of the contents' insanity]

[arc-wrench.livejournal.com]

Commentary: I do recall that several nights ago you said we were boring you.

Suggestion: Then why not give us better weapons, meatbag, so that we may cause more interesting destruction? A droid can only do so much with surgical blades, you know!

Sarcasm: Oh, I completely forgot- Not that it's important, but I utterly detest being a squishy meatbag! I wish to return to my original chassis this instant!

Alternative: If that does not happen, I would consider a redesign of the human meatbag body plan. I have many, many suggestions for this!



List: Suggestions for meatbag upgrades

Suggestion One: Redesign of breathing. It uses too much memory for a required program! And too much internal volume! My torso is now mostly taken up by air sacs! Full of dirty, unpurified air. Ugh.

Suggestion Two: Better shielding and structural support for the meatbag chassis! I always thought the outer covering was disgustingly gelatinous, but to actually be stuck with squishy parts makes it so much worse! I cut the epidermis of my finger on a sheet of paper!

Suggestion Three: Optical receptors. The blinking. It is so irritating.

Suggestion Four: Fuel intake and processing. So badly packaged. So complicated. So time consuming... So much waste product.

Suggestion Five: Remove the extraneous parts! Explanation: They are squishy, easily targeted, embarrassing, and… extraneous!

Suggestion Six: Faster recovery from ingestion of sedatives! To spare any other droid-turned-meatbag entities that may exist from suffering as I have!

Suggestion Seven: An emergency back-up for spellchecking programs, in case no solution can be found for Suggestion Six!
Suggestion Eight: A more easily cleaned and maintained surface. One that does not make it necessary to ever have to be naked in front of other meatbags.

Suggestion Nine: A built in early warning system to detect the approach of troublemaking individuals. Or at least a less high-pitched response.

Suggestion Ten: Locomotive and supportive systems that do not require prolonged physical contact with other meatbags to maintain full function, even though it does feel very nice.

Suggestion Eleven: Integration of meatbag systems with gaming consoles, for the better enjoyment of Metroid.

[kaerutokoro.livejournal.com]

Telling us why you're doing this would be a start...

Oh! And maybe some ice cream?

[in nervous, somewhat shaky writing]

[meironohosoku.livejournal.com]

I would like to know how you are capable of bringing all these people here. One man cannot be... that powerful. Or are you a

Um... Aside from that, sweeter food in the cafeteria would be nice. Especially cream puffs, if that's not asking too much...

[grosse-sklaven.livejournal.com]

More than one keyboard in the music room. There's always a rush for it.

[notachick.livejournal.com]

A selection of teas including green teas, and calligraphy brushes with ink would be lovely.

~Julian Ikeda

[disguised handwriting, unrecgonizable and anonymous]

[notachick.livejournal.com]

I will find out what you did to him and I will enjoy taking you apart bit by bit. My revenge will be slow and painful, until you feel what I felt when I faced that empty room.

I look forward to playing with you, Dr. Landel. I can be such a good playmate if given the right tools.

[ham_fisted]

I'M PRESSING CHARGES, PAL.



Bu

But I second the notion of tea on behalf of Mr. Edgeworth.

[not-rly-fai.livejournal.com]

Something alcoholic, pretty please~? ♥

[lost-metal.livejournal.com]

More books in the library. History, science and geography books. You wouldn't want your younger patients to go uneducated would you?

[sasuke-of-sound.livejournal.com]

More time for exercise.

-Sean Li

[intoindra.livejournal.com]

((Dropped in after the visitor shift and just before dinner, naturally.))

Dr. Landel,

I must admit curiosity as to why you seem interested in tapping Indra's power. Is it just curiosity at what I can do? A test of your monsters and the other patients? Or do you really have to out-source your monstrosities to a world that has managed to exceed even your nightmares?

Please let me know, truthfully and at night, if need be.

Also, thank you for letting me see my friend again. I'll never forget it.
-Jean Dupont